Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean

Fiji ‘87 || De Facto Bachelor || lover of women, metal straws, and PAWGS || Eminent Recorder || Radiohead

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

My affirmation: I get everything I want in my life without working particularly hard

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

Looking back on it I think I got groomed on both clash of clans global chat AND pixel gun 3D… it really influences my sexual preferences to this day. Not cool.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

@gravyness It’s a cigarette they are minutely distinguishable unless u go for a menthol

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

@JohnsonBlakfase Good shot, windy day.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

@justsomeguy1046 Yall well fed or sum? I’m starving brotha.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

I can’t believe I missed this goated wedding crashers pull on my feed

[Jeffrey Buttersworth @JButterswo77647]

@LimpScrimp Grief is natures most powerful aphrodisiac

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

Eat Plastic! Work till your 65! Eat Pills! Talk to a robot! Listen to 🇮🇱! Eat Pills!

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

This beer tastes like she has to be atleast 19 now, 18 don’t accommodate the girth of ole butterbean phi alpha

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

It’s so hard being right every single time. Now I just fuck waiters with the same name as my ex #cestlavie

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

Thursday is America’s Friday

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

Them super lights making me super gassy

—M.A.B.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

There’s nothing worse than nutting in a one night stand and realizing she wouldn’t get rid of that fucker. I haven’t missed a day of drinking since the market in ‘08.

Cheers,
M.B.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

If the big Osama had ever had a zero sugar Pepsi cherry he was would’ve NEVER sent that second plane.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

All I wanted was my ex foid to get on Reta and hmu come the new year, she still looks like she would make a mean sloppy Joe.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

They fucking taxidermied Mitch McConnell he looks like me after i got into an off-white cart.

[yreva @uffyebanda]

humans who keep tweeting and getting 0 likes and 1 views fear nobody

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

I may be a man of god but god damnit I love it when goth girls do weird stuff with their feet online.

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

God damnit I can’t stop watching semi-professional pornography.

[Jeffrey Buttersworth @JButterswo77647]

Is it true girls from New Jersey squirt more?

[Monsignor Aloysius Butterbean @LimpScrimp]

There’s nothing like lasting 5 minutes then doing a gator off of some skimpy ikea nightstand