I suck at socializing. Not in the quirky vtuber way. I feel like in the midst of being around others I slowly start lacking consideration. I can sit here and blame past experiences but I just feel so unpleasant to be around
im sure some may have nice things to say but I havent had like real growth in friendships since like 2024
Mean while, ill have reasons lined up for why things are the way they are. Maybe 2023-2024 me was a better version of myself. Im not looking for sympathy but I just feel as if ive changed with how I view things and what my brain chemistry wants and doesnt want.
I dont want excuses for myself and for those who try or are able to talk to me or experience me, I dont want to be someone like that, I have such a strong "want" to have these connections, but I feel as if im lacking in such crucial areas to be able to have them.