Lisa Simpson

im such a sarcastic bitch its beautiful

[j @jeongpomu]

Don't wanna take risks.

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

rt for 14 free follows :)

mbf @.ArianaAgo not this acc.

DOING ALL!!

[j @jeongpomu]

I AM NOT OKAY,

BRB CRYING.

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

hey little puppy! *throws stick* fetch!!

*he slowly walks towards me*

*whispers in my ear*

"stop trying to make "fetch" happen"

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

s/o to the kid that whispers the answer to u when the teacher calls on u but u weren’t paying attention

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

i hate being tickled i do not think it is cute i do not think it is funny i will kick u in the fucking face

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

do not download flappy bird

retweet to save a life

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

my favorite thing is when people remember little things I told them

like seriously?

u actually listened to me thank u

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

do ur squats
eat ur vegetables
wear red lipstick
dont let boys be mean to u

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

we've got 17 days until valentines so if youre secretly in love with me now is the time to speak up

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

pro’s of dating me:

i love being cuddled
i will kiss u literally whenever u want 24/7
i look gross so you will always seem more attractive

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

it’s funny how if you get an A on a test your grade goes up like 2 percent but if you get a F your grade goes down like the titanic

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

rt for flappy bird

fav for angry birds

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

blood type: diva

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

I'm sorry I offended u when I called u a bitch

I honestly thought u knew

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

i hate when someone is pretty and also funny like stop that you only get one

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

H.O.E.S = happily offering everyone sex

thank you

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

im usually that person who has no idea what’s going on

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

every once in a while i check up on people i hate to make sure i still hate them

i do

[Lisa Simpson @LisaSmipson]

2009: ugly
2010: ugly
2011: ugly
2012: ugly
2013: ugly
2014: ugly

when are we going to get to the plot twist