Liz Trust

Fresh Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Leader of the Conservative and Unionist Party. MP for South West Norfolk.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@ZBordone I'm intrigued by your notion of following people rather than the party. It's interesting. However - how are you defining "people" - the rich or the general populace?
Supporting the latter would actually be in violation of the Tory party bylaws, so my hands would be tied.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@SimonDixonTwitt @BorisJohnson @RishiSunak Sorry for the slow reply, Simon! Absolutely! I back anything becoming the backbone of Britain as long as it's famously unstable and liable to collapse! I think that if we can make the whole country a teetering Jenga tower, we'll finally have achieved the Tory Manifesto.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@EliotKate Great idea! Let's tear down global community, forget trade and economy. Isolationism and shuttered borders. Perfect! We'll just live off of North Sea Oil. We can eat that right? And it's not like Scotland will leave and take that with them.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@Katiebobs66 I'm loving the TV attention! I think even the Australians are starting to figure out who I am!
And let's be clear. I wanted the position. I don't actually want to do anything with it. Maybe strip some more trans rights and punish more refugees actually...

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@jackyan I am shocked by the number of parody accounts that seek to make a mockery of my work. My extensive resume in working against minorities is nothing to be laughed at, and I will do all I can to have these terrible accounts removed. Perhaps Mr. Musk can help? I 'll call him.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@gorst_josh This is completely misrepresenting the facts. I had a war on the equalities act long before the Queen died. The two are unrelated. I've always been militantly transphobic and really doubled down when I realized I could ride the wave caused by JKR to get to power!

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@frombibz You're right. I will draft a bill to deal with this immediately. I will pull back our troops from their neo-colonial efforts in foreign lands, remove expensive income-base assessments, and find out where Boris put that 350 million to get it to them right away!

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@loellabeau @NormanBrennan @JudiciaryUK Prisons are the best place for them, clearly. No fear of overcrowding, and there's definitely no evidence that I've seen that putting people in prison has high risk or recidivism.
Also, love the use of loaded language tied to racism "savages" - great Tory message. Maybe a shirt?

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@loellabeau @NormanBrennan @JudiciaryUK Absolutely. We should arrest anyone who has recently purchased cutlery at TK Maxx or Lakelands. I believe a police state is the most obvious way to solve this problem. Why would we possibly look at resolving the causes behind such incidence when we can just arrest everyone?

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@JonAshcroft3 @defender110uk @BUK_HomeOffice I'm sorry for any confusion! The military is not being used in the instance you're describing because we still have some scrap of humanity left. These people need help, and as refugees from lands we colonized it's frankly appalling that we aren't doing more to help them.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@kamnbeej I agree! I believe that we should instigate UBI for all with no income assessment and provide free housing for all un-homed individuals. It's clearly the most humane way, as shown by the many studies throughout Europe.
But the party will never go for it.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

Fake News!

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

I understand the concern, but I want to assure people that I never even touched The Queen. My policies on this matter will remain in line with those of my predecessors as we offer useless platitudes and insulting solutions to those facing dire situations.

[The Telegraph @Telegraph]

🚨BREAKING: The Queen is under medical supervision at Balmoral and her immediate family have been informed https://t.co/nesSBMTxEY

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@Liztruss @jasonkenney I'm so sorry about this constant confusion Liz!

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

On this solemn day, I'd like to take a moment to give back to the people. Here is my contribution to my (shockingly well-stocked) WikiFeet page.
I'm considering opening a feet @OnlyFans to help the British economy where you can purchase pics and peerages.
https://t.co/H6K5fKg7P7

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

@holywell_john I think that you make an excellent suggestion. In fact, I'm still looking for the idea Secretary of Truth and might well be the perfect fit for my cabinet.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

Yes, thank you for leaving, Boris.
While some might see a country razed to the ground by your administration and the Tories that came before you, I prefer to see it as a blank slate on which to build my own house of cards. I'll enjoy being atop such a famously sturdy structure.

[UK Prime Minister @10DowningStreet]

Thank you Boris.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

A fitting individual to continue my legacy, Zahawi is also anti-refugee, abstained from marriage equality, has voted against increased benefits for people living with disabilities, and has repeatedly pushed back against human rights laws. Equality for those who deserve it, I say.

[Liz Trust @LizTrustPM]

Proud to be followed in my previous role as Minister for Equalities by Nadhim Zahawi MP, a politician who has pushed back against teaching about LGBTQ+ identities in schools and recommended dangerously outing trans children to their parents as a blanket policy.

[UK Prime Minister @10DowningStreet]

The Rt Hon Nadhim Zahawi MP @NadhimZahawi has been appointed Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, Minister for Intergovernmental Relations @CabinetOfficeUK and Minister for Equalities @GEOgovuk.

#Reshuffle