Lauren McCafferty

Storyteller. Living my betterest life on America's beautiful North Coast. I like birds, banjos, boats, and even some things that start with other letters.

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

*screams* SELF DEPRECATING HUMOR ISN'T HUMOROUS IF THE PUNCHLINE OF THE JOKE IS TOXIC MASCULINITY
*whispers* and before you say it, yes the fact that the media does this all the time is part of the problem

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

This shit gets wilder and wilder. I consider myself a storyteller of sorts, and I feel strangely shocked and betrayed by this massive, unstoppable institution of stories. @netflix ... you got some 'splainin to do.

[Jennifer Brea🦒 @jenbrea]

The #Afflicted team interviewed leading scientists like Stanford geneticist Ron Davis (https://t.co/0L7p2zTyKE). None of them made the cut. The sole focus on alternative health was a narrative choice.

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

Aw shoot, somebody hold my wallet. These are rad! https://t.co/oqMvneSgHb

[Emily Cheeseman @emcheeseman]

🔥 AT LAST, THE SHOP HAS REOPENED 🔥 A few pin designs are low in stock, but everything will be available again after con season! https://t.co/NTYivKi8aF

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@SCE Hi @sce , thanks for your reply. I'm fully aware of the logic behind controlled \ rolling outages. Was just a little fuzzy on logic behind your apparent apathy about individual, human clients in desperate need. 🤷 But thanks for trying.

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@SCE , for real? Shutting off power to the elderly \ disabled during an excess heat warning? Not cool, not cool at all https://t.co/GMkz60fvrU

[Birdspot @birdspot]

Any lawyer friends know if it is legal to shut off power to the elderly/disabled during an excessive heat warning? It's the hottest day of a fierce heat wave here in SoCal (103ºF). I am worried for my elderly, house-bound mother. @sce is about to shut off our power for the day.

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@CNN Oh, @CNN , please tell me how the plastic bottles escape households. Do they grow tiny plastic legs and run away? No. HUMANS 👏 MAKE 👏 TRASH 👏 and ya need to describe it as such. Words matter.

[Pitchfork @pitchfork]

Cat Power is back—watch her album trailer featuring new music https://t.co/y7XAmeIFvN

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@TheZoneCast If we pre-ordered on Amazon many moons ago, when might we expect to hear the carrier owl scratch at our door??

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@springhealy Was it Infinite Jest?!

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@molly_knight @Ishfery I'm glad to hear that you think the meme sucks, but... Just why even take and circulate the photo in the first place? I mean, I ham it up for the camera all the time, try to be charming and funny, and I'm somehow able to do it without toxic masculinity as the punchline.

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

let the birdies eat the s’mores let the birdies eat the s’mores let the birdies eat the S’MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

happy birdday amercica. it seem you are try explode me out of the sky. im retailiate I chug a tabacso sace and got a case of the hot bottom. prepare for a bumbardments #bumsBurstingInAir

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@jmhuval It will if you will it to! 😀

[The Adventure Zone @TheZoneCast]

Night falls on H2Whoa: That Was Fun.

A wet, wild and fateful battle begins.

It’s Episode 11 of #TheZoneCast Amnesty!

https://t.co/xg08Wcc4s5

(RT, friends!)

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

S\O to the Loonar Station employee who asked if I had a student ID, looked at the holographic ditto card I showed her, said "yep that feels right" and gave me a discount

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

HOW DARE kick me outta restrant as if YOU had never steal bread from a babby then go doodie on the salads KALE IS A COMMUNISM PLOT

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

@jmhuval Cannot find any fault in her logic

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

oh so you DONT want me to potty on you car??? maysbe I sign a exlaxative order to stop me from oop too late.

[Lauren McCafferty @LM_McCafferty]

Hi could maybe therapists be exempt from jury duty???????? #pls