I'm a hopeful pragmatist, a vigilant correctarian, a nonaligned philosopher, a resolute attributionist, a licensed philogynist & a self-medicating narcissist.
Fucking fucking fucking fuck.
I had that tumblr account since September of 2011. Things there have kind of sucked since the Great Purge Of 2018, but I've been playing by their new rules, so I have no idea why they deleted me right now.
Fuck.
It never fails, whenever I spend time watching the Olympics, that night I have dreams of an international panel of judges rating my sexual performance. I did okay last night, but I mean what was that Russian judge expecting??? π
There's a special place in hell reserved for people who record homemade porn on their cellphone in landscape format but then upload it to Pornhub in portrait format.
It's right above the level of hell reserved for porn creators whose background music makes me lose my erection.
Twitter's suggestive algorithm is pretty fucked up, to assume that because I've watched ten blowjob videos in a row, of course I'll also want to watch violent streetfights, cop shootings, and horrifying accidents. I mean damn, I'm here for facials of depth, not Faces Of Death.