Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein

I am cat, destroyer of human sleep. One of my pet humans, @seraphimkimiko tweets for me because typing with paws is hard.

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

The fools may mock me, but they know that I am a god!

Also I'm hungry. They should feed their god.

[Lucy ∈ 🍓 @LucyDavinhart]

Kimi: @LordFidget is a bastard cat

Me: because his parents were never meowried, yes?

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

I, the mighty hunter, stalk my Mac and Cheesy prey!

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

The greatest joy of being a cat... no matter how much of a screaming asshole I am at 3 am, my moms still love me.

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

Ahhhhhh... to be cozy... such joy!

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

In today's lesson on how to be more Cat, I teach the difference between a Blep and a Mlem.

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

The best times are when I don't have to share mom.

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

I am master of domain! None but me shall rule this corner of the bed!

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

I am one with the blanket.

Also... I have a crown in the blanket...

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Axlotl! I'm doomed!
#CatsOfTwitter

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

My couch is perfectly comfortable, I don't know what my moms are complaining about.

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

The floor is lovely.

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

Wow... look at me 6 years ago! I'm such a handsome thing! But hell that is a big bag of popcorn!

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

I may have miscalculated the power of the pride toy...

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

Alright, Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close up!

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

I AM NOT HAPPY! First I can't use the litter box because... personal reasons... then the humans took me to the Office of Pokes and Prods! And they shoved a thing up my butt! AGAIN!

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

I am purrfection!

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

My sister has found her new comfy spot.

Glad she's stopped trying to steal mine.

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

Watson is a peanut, but our other sister Yuna is an absolute sweetheart.

Cozy friend for snuggles. #CatsOnTwitter

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

People think a peanut is a type of legume.

I am here to inform you a peanut is a fluffy black cat named @WatsonDavinhart #CatsOfTwitter

[Lord High Baron Fidget Von Kittenschtein @LordFidget]

Moving this ball is hard work for an old man like me.