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It's unbelievable it's been over five days I didn't talk to Luci.
Five years. We talked practically every day in the last few years. So many people asked me to add a candle. One person wanted red one. One's made of bee wax. A large yellow one. And the big one smells like apple pie. From people we played with so often there are the stars which I planned to put on dog tags for my friends.
There are so many stories. I didn't have access to a good printer, so behind the picture is a book about Dutch-German naval collaboration. And I brought plushies so she doesn't feel lonely. She loved those ikea sharks and was one of the reason I bought them. I wanted to add bricks- but I couldn't find them so I used some of those ceramic upside down turned baking trays.
The wooden pen I always carry with me to keep stress at bay and the cup was a gift from my brother that Luci envied. Under the pen is my diary. I put her favorite red wine into the cup and a small shot of coke in front of the portrait. And the sword is now named after her, which I know Luci would find really cool.
Every step is a story. I can still perfectly remember her voice. We spent so much time together I can always tell what her exact reaction would be.
Nothing will ever replace her, but it is heartwarming to see so many people come together. I had old friends reconnect with me, asking me to add more candles. From a small thing on my window it now fills a table.
She woke up things in people that they couldn't find themselves. She mended bridges that I thought would never be mended.
We miss her so much.
So very much.
I don't know if I've done enough. I will never know. And I know she would scold me for thinking that and call me 'silly'. Or a dork. Thoughts flow on and on but it can't change this.
The companionship and friendship, the silliness and jokes. The laughs, the good and the bad... It all means so much.
I cry, I maintain the little vigil spot and I share time with friends and I wonder what she would have done or thought about all of this. A voice in the back of my head is perhaps her.
I thought I bought thirty of those larger stars. I counted them and I could have sworn it was exactly thirty. When I got home one was missing. In a way I don't mind that I paid for one more- it feels like Luci stole one for herself before I even set them out.
We carry on with Luci in our hearts. And perhaps a small little shark that will always sneak away with something small you won't miss.
Please rest my friend. I will never forget you.
Take care of your friends. They are the dearest, most precious thing in your life.
Cherish them and remind you how much you care about them. Life in 2026... and even before that... is cruel and often inflicts un-mendable wounds on us.
And also think about yourself. You are a precious friend to someone too. They will move stars for you. And you cannot be replace. I don't write sappy stuff often but... This pain is just too much. Take care of yourself and make sure you are okay. Hydrate and ask yourself if it's worth it being mad at something small... Perhaps it's better just laughing it off.
In the end it is up to you. I say that I am just one voice on the internet. Or as Luci would have put it "silly dork".
A piece of my heart is missing. I know Luci stole that one. But I know that in this way she will always be with me.
If you read all of this stuff... Thank you for humoring me. I am sorry for taking your time. I was overwhelmed by emotion while planning the memorial service and seeing old memories at every step.
It will never be the same, but it doesn't have to be. I am glad I have known her. Even with how much it hurts.
To all of those who lit a candle- Thank you. It means the world to me.
And finally,
Please travel safe Luci.
You will always be with me and you can keep that piece of my heart that you stole.
🕯️
Attention Scufflings‼️
We’re doing a GIVEAWAY for my upcoming Mafia Monarch figure! 🦋🙌🏻 All you have to do to enter is RT this post & follow @youtooz !!
3 winners will be announced on release day: December 15th!! 🦋
It's giveaway time!
Win a Warhammer 40,000: Dark Heresy alpha key — like and repost this post to enter, simple as that.
The winners will be announced after December 16th, so hurry up. Please ensure your DMs are open so we can contact you.
#owlcatadvent
Dear @bstategames.
Can you please explain why you removed the statement that we will get a key when you release on a third-party platform from your FAQ section?
Or why are you telling your early backers to purchase the standard edition again if they want to link their game to Steam? Not to complain too much. I am sure that there is a very good reason. But quite a lot of people see 52 euro as a lot of money.
For those who don't really want to search for the sources, from what I've read so far on Steam and the Tarkov webpage, no matter what edition of the game you own, you must purchase the baseline version of the game on Steam if you want to play the game on Steam.
Which, to be very clear, isn't what we agreed to when we backed the game years ago.
Seriously? With all of the money you already had? I'd buy a cool skin. I'd buy new customization options. I'd praise you if you finally added an iconic gun. But this is just... wrong.
Yes, I am aware that I can just play using the launcher. If I play the game, I will do just that. I am aware that I do not have to own the game on Steam as a backer. But this feels like a common courtesy BSG should extend to those who supported them for a very long time.
Hey I need to share something personal
So... I need help. Some of you have noticed over the last couple months, I have missed quite a few streams. I have been very quiet about it so as not to worry you all.
But at this point I need help. Within the last 2 months I have had pains in my abdomen that I had to get multiple tests to figure out what was causing me unbearable pain, and nausea.
After getting these tests and a Endoscopy followed by a colonoscopy (which mind you they haven't figured out what has been causing me pain) my insurance has decided not to cover any of it. So I'm having to pay out of pocket for it all. That's where I wish this story ended...
My father, a couple weeks ago, was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. I had to dip far into my savings to help pay for his life saving surgery, and now I am having extreme tooth pains that I will need a Root canal for. I already maxed out my dental insurance this year so I will also be paying for this again out of pocket.
I had a good bit of savings but I need help, and I hate to ask this because my community already does so much for me. But to pay for the hospital and dental bills I need help with a goal of 5,500$ dollars So I will be starting an emergency Donothon tomorrow Sept 12th I will also be doing an event on stream to thank and reward those who donated on September 19th.
Please donate before the donothon if you can every little bit helps me pay for these bills.
Any amount we raise over $5500 I will be giving to my father since he's currently out of work as well, due to the cancer, and could also use the money. ❤️ https://t.co/3b6xmVE3SH
1st Edition VCard: Awakened Worlds GIVEAWAY
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