Justin Donawa

Umd ‘19 🇹🇹 🇯🇲 ✨

[DissidentRexy🦖 @DissidentRexy]

Hi Peter. Quick question what license plate is this Flock camera reading?

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

What kind of writer writes this garbage? What kind of editor approves it? What kind of reader believes it?

[Jay  @Jayzus_]

A hard truth of adulthood is that sometimes you really do get what you pay for

[🪱 @ori6g]

Instead of meeting Messi as a child i met Ronaldinho so i just get hammered as fuck the night before Sunday league

[Patrick Webb @Patrickwebb]

BREAKING: Older voters in Kentucky’s 4th Congressional District admit to being tricked by AI-generated ads falsely depicting Thomas Massie in a “throuple” with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar, with the ads influencing their vote, per exit poll.

[onion person @CantEverDie]

yeah ai political ads have to be banned immediately or we have to take away the right to vote for people over the age of 50. its one of the two

[Restoring Your Faith in Humanity @HumanityChad]

A bear mistakes the vet's attempt to measure its body for a hug 🥹

[Jiggy ✞ @nogojiggy]

Never won La Liga but conquered it
Never won UCL but conquered it

This was exactly how they forced “CR7 conquered every league” down our throats

[SUPPORTING ARTISTS 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 @QuoteArtists_]

just gotta leave it here.

[Cryptictitan @crypticaxtitan]

@FabrizioRomano Brother, we saw you hungrily hunting those goals to get the golden boot tonight

[Russ' TD ⚡ @RussFcb]

Harry Kane has 73 goals this season and ended up letting Ivan Toney play instead. How about you let someone else play

[Chuckfug @Chuckfug]

My girl is starting to realize I'm noticably worse at sex after my pet rat died and I stopped wearing a hat all the time

[xMoosex @xastupidx]

just booked a vasectomy and they scheduled me in for 9/11 they really snippin my tower twin

[jackson 🇪🇸 @jacksonicide]

The sensor at urinals scans your penis and sells it to palantir

[michael @heatherr0ads]

roommate just told me he’s “running off seven hours of sleep”

[Mads @europemaxxed]

Looking at France lose to Spain and realizing how powerful Cabo Verde was

[oziọma @rsvptemple]

“two wrongs don’t make a right.”

baby I wasn’t trying to make a right.
i was trying to make two wrongs.

[Luke Duong @32_vu32810]

Same man who wrote this, btw.

[Evan @EvanMcFarlane]

How about you actually do something useful and ask Nike & Adidas why they charge £95 for shirts we now know cost about £5 to make.