Nixyana ~nya

I would love to learn how to do the normal people things. But big brain man says no.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

I’m just total trash. Sew me.

[FINAL FANTASY XIV @FF_XIV_EN]

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[FINAL FANTASY XIV @FF_XIV_EN]

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[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Do you know what is odd. Having a photo posted on insta the exact date I was going to kill myself, with the exact place recorded. I remember wanting to jump, but a lovely couple walked by and started a conversation.

I guess they saved me. Doesn’t mean the urge isn’t still there.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

I regret so much about what I am doing now. But if I don’t push through, would it be worth it?

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

It’s one of the days where I want to succumb to the thoughts in my head. Those voices that never go away, but haven’t had the choices to listen too. I want to sleep forever. I feel like it would be easier.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

I’ve made it back to leveling a shot gun to the head daydreams again. I guess I’m getting somewhere mentally. Is it getting worse or better is where I’ll have to say time can only tell so much.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

I want my brain to stop running through all the things I fucked up. Let me rest.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

When you can only wish for someone to save you from a continuous losing battle knowing it will never happen. With a heavy heart I wish I could get out.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Im so jealous of others. But I hate myself even more then feeling jealous. Maybe that’s why I never get better. And I’m at the point where I don’t think I can ever get better.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Slowly losing hope in myself. Honestly I wish I was smart or someone better and outgoing. I-I’m starting just just hate me again.

[merry smile@Loungewear in stock! @merrysmileco]

🌸 Gift Giveaway 🌸

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Open Worldwide
3 winners. You may pick any 1 design!
Handmade & shipping around Oct!

Ends 8/13 @ 11:59PM EST

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Sometime I think maybe I should go to therapy but then the voices in my head chooses otherwise. One of these days I’ll be able to over come it but not today.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Got enough with everything. All I want to do is sleep.

[NYAHALLO 🐈‍⬛ @NyahalloShop]

💥FLASH GIVEAWAY💥
Win any of my Genshin Impact bags
TO ENTER: Follow + like + RT
No private or secondary accounts please
Ends on April 20 (my birthday)🎉

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Spent the last 3hrs crying what a way to spend a day off.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

There be days where cooperating with the voices in my head is nice. Today, well for a while now it has not been nice. I want to take a shotgun to my chin, aim it upwards and pull the trigger to blow my brain up to make it all stop. I’d be dead but honestly that’s all I dream of.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Need to morn homesickness now. Maybe it’d go away after if I don’t think about it.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

Sometimes I forget. Other times I remember. But a shotgun to the heart always sounds like an interesting way to go out.

[Nixyana ~nya @Loss_Cross]

I actually feel so ill holy shit may tomorrow be a better day as I might commit social suicide