So I feel like I've wasted so much of my energy on things,people,events that has eventually caused me pain. When in reality I should of been focusing on me and the ones who I truly care about. But what if one of people you truly care about are a source of your pain.What do I do?
I had read the booke The stranger by Albert Camus in one sitting yesterday. The message this book has got me thinking if there is no inherent meaning in life its self why should I have any strong opinions and thoughts even feelings towards people,events, or things in general.
Where I call home isn't really home anymore. I can't stand being there anymore. I always need to be out and away from there. Today I spent most my day and night reading in my room. I just felt like I didnt belong there and a stranger in my own room.
I know I say focus on you first which is a great way to keep yourself balanced. But when someone has help you at your worst help them back when they're at there worst.
Whats been going with me recently is that ive been dealing with a problem of mine where I give and give and give but only get back the bare minimum. Its making rethink everything I've done for people. People who I call best friends it saddens me to the point I dont no friends.
I was asked what makes you enjoy life? Is it the little things like materialistic things and small moments or is it achieving big goals? I answered its the little things that count.
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