Lying Cat

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@Rob14287 @SRex2099 @bear_nugs @shoptonet They told us that too - I assume by 'overwhelming majority' they're including the ones that were presumably delivered to the wrong house or shoved in people's bins

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@lucifa42 @shoptonet @Argos_Online @EVRi_Delivery Same, except Smyths. Hope Shopto enjoy processing all their returns and use this feedback to choose a better courier...

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@Northpowergrid four powercuts in the last hour at WF3. What's going on?

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

Suns out tongues out! https://t.co/ruKyJy8fl0

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

Highland cows are indisputably the cutest babies @ Rhubarb Triangle Farm Shop https://t.co/c2jwDzlR8A

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

I feel like there's irony in this somewhere https://t.co/11VtozWFHB

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@UponASpyglass @kezamacdonald I mean anyone applying for any job needs to be able to handle rejection. Its just common decency not to mock them publicly. Anyway, not really the point I was making.

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

New pupper, Dottie https://t.co/SAJNI7nGzD

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

New York New York Vegas https://t.co/ZicCC3VkJv

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

Hoover Dam https://t.co/WohOEu85MK

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@HMRCcustomers So there is literally no way of speaking to anyone today?

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@HMRCgovuk hi, I need your recruitment/HR phone number ASAP ta

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@HMRCcustomers There is no phone number on the job advert. Is there not a generic one?

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@HMRCcustomers My partner has had an offer but we are trying to apply for a mortgage and he needs a contract and start date ASAP. He has had no luck emailing.

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

@Krupa This really sums up Daniel's role in the group

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

So I keep buying books that I just cannot find the time to read #bookstagram #toomanybooks https://t.co/diuIxAkrZU

[Nish Kumar @MrNishKumar]

You know the old saying “if you don’t want to do the time, don’t do the crime. Alternatively be a man in comedy, and you can do the crime, give it a minute and everyone is chill”

https://t.co/Tj8GtNIs2v

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

I've done this like 8 times why am I not thin yet #jillianmichaels https://t.co/hkY9WCCCbm

[Lying Cat @LyingCat_]

Bf came home #drunk while I was watching a film in bed:

Bf: where is the light thing
Me: the what?
Bf: THE LIGHT THING
Bf: *proceeds to turn on ps3*
Me: why have you turned that on?!
Bf: FOR SOPHIE (said angrily)

Sophie is our cat.