Spoiling a woman doesn't always have to be about money. It could be time, attention, being there mentally, physically & emotionally. The money comes and goes but how you make her feel is forever.
They say, “Marry someone you can suffer with.” I used to think that sounded sad. Now I understand. Real love isn’t just dinners, flowers and beautiful moments. It’s the person who stays when life gets heavy, the one who holds you when you’re drowning and when you can’t keep yourself afloat, starts building you a boat. Love is choosing each other when life isn’t easy.
My girl best friend told her boyfriend something that lowkey changed how I see relationships.
She said, “I don’t want obedience. I want consideration. I shouldn’t have to beg you to think about how your actions affect me.”
She told him, “You’re allowed to have friends. You’re allowed to go out. You’re allowed to live your life. But if you constantly put yourself in situations that you know would hurt me, that’s not freedom. That’s you choosing yourself over us.”
Then she said something that hit:
“If I have to keep explaining why something disrespects me, it’s not confusion. It’s comfort. You’re comfortable knowing I’ll stay.”
And whew.
She wasn’t yelling. She wasn’t threatening to leave. She was calm. Grounded. Clear.
She told him, “I won’t control you. But I will control what I tolerate. And if I start feeling small in a relationship that’s supposed to feel safe, I’ll remove myself. Not to punish you. To protect me.”
That’s what emotional maturity sounds like.
Not “do what I say.”
But “I see the red flag. I told you it’s red. If you keep walking past it, I’m not dragging you back.”
the difficulty in buying flowers is not in buying her flowers. it's keeping her in mind. it's having a part of your brain always on and devoted to her small joys and comfort. this is why if you have to ask for flowers it entirely defeats the purpose.
this is also why "look it's us" works so well, it's code for "you are so cherished and precious that everything reminds me of you."