Matt Wener

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

I don’t remember the last time I’ve yelled so much at the TV #MacJonesSucks

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

Men who do not like feminine songs are lying to themselves 🎵

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

If anyone claps at the end of a movie or when a plane lands I have lost all respect for u 🎥

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

Never trust a fart 🫡

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

The Celtics aren’t losing if I’m sitting on my living room couch #Game7

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

Shoveling the driveway sucks ❄️ #snowday

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

Why do people take their shoes off on planes? Like bruh get ur stanky feet outta here 🤢

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

Please tell me why Halloween isn’t just on the last Saturday of October 🎃?

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

My parents had me thinking it was illegal to turn the backseat light on back in the day

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

@B_rad_tweets Playoff hockey >>>>>

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

@B_rad_tweets Nah man I don’t know that feeling

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

People who prefer Pepsi over Coke are the same people who ask the teacher for homework at the end of class🥤

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

You can never trust someone who says that their favorite food is salad 🥗

[Matt Wener @M_Weens]

You know that feeling on a math test when your calculator’s answer is just not one of the multiple choice options, so you just circle the closest one.