I sometimes forget that I live in small town Wisconsin. If I get harassed by an angry, brainwashed, white, anti vax man on Nextdoor…. help. TW: this man is an awful human
16 years since my mother died. Fuck cancer. Fuck death. Fuck the real deep dark heartbreak. Fuck all the shit I hate with/ the words to express it. But what I hate the most was never knowing her as an adult. Never understanding that. Never understanding my love & need for her.
My therapist: Y’know, intellectualizing your emotions instead of actually feeling them is still avoiding them and it isn’t really good for your mental health. Your logical skills won’t help you with this.
Me:
It's finally saying "I love you" and wishing I could call her and let her know. It's introducing my partner to my family and wishing I could introduce my mom to the person who has makes every day bright and silly. It's knowing that she would love him almost as much as I do. 4/5
When I delivered my mom's eulogy, I alluded to an abstract anticipatory sadness about her absence at my wedding. But it's not just big moments where her absence weighs heavy on my heart. It's also the collection of small&beautiful experiences that I will never share with her. 3/5