maddie

[maddie @MACHlNATIONS]

[looking at code i wrote a month ago] who the fuck did this

[tony the human D2.0 @tonythehumanD20]

My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective and that "we should split up" "Good idea", I said, "that way we can cover more ground"

[🐳 @2001V01]

Philadelphia Cream Cheese would like to use your current location

[You Know Who @MuskTillDawn]

It’s too late. I’ve already depicted you as the current swept Ben and myself as the unfazed King Otis.

[maddie @MACHlNATIONS]

love a “it can't always be A or B someone has to hold it down in C” post and c is brooklyn

[sono✖️🌗 @sosonosonosono]

where is this "licker store" alcoholics keep talking about 👅

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

I’ve Never Lied except for Comedic Effect and Also to make my Life Easier

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

Promiscuous squirrel you're teasin' me you stole all my nuts now you're up in that tree

[jill @littlefucky]

On my flight right now the pilot didn’t get enough speed for take off so he merged onto the highway and is just driving us all from Florida to New York in the airplane

[c @cokebeyc]

whenever i see someone my age

[chris oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

crackers with cheese :)

[mackenzie thomas @evilmackenzie]

what is the appropriate amount of time to think about each situation and topic

[alexandria @Lib0fAlexandria]

notice that it's "luck of the Irish" not "skill of the Irish" or "work ethic of the Irish"

[irl girl @fruktflicka]

the perfect halloween costume idea for me and my boyfriend this year

[g @34rths]

Taking my big thoughts to big places so they feel small

[lil stinker @superlameballs]

i'm getting the surgery to become a minion

[Dalan @ssbTarmon]

If I saw the opposing keeper's secret water bottle notes for me and it just said "feel on the day" I'd feel tough af

[Tugger! @tommy_tugger]

Wasp just landed in me ale. Kept him alive but he’s absolutely rat arsed

[bonﹺ @fwrosting]

when my mom behaves i reward her with information about my life

[ratchet’s left axel🚑💨 @fxationstation]

Me at work making a ham sandwiches for Optimus Prime