jmac

my humor is as dry as your skin!

[jmac @MacriJordan]

The office S3:E15 5:30

[jmac @MacriJordan]

If someone brings me ice cream I will give you a hand sanitizer

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Them: so what have you been up to?

Me: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

#QuarantineLife

[jmac @MacriJordan]

All I want to do is roll up to church in a cute outfit and hang with my friends

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Positive note of the day: I got to lay out in the sun 🤗

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Someone say April fools 😫

[Bird @BirdExecutive]

She said “fever” and trump was OUT of there lmaoo

[jmac @MacriJordan]

@stuckonyoteeth Your point?

[jmac @MacriJordan]

It’s sad that I’m at the age where if you see someone attractive you look to see if they are wearing a wedding ring!

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Am I a disgusting person if I was drinking my water and noticed there was an ant in it, but then continued to drink it?

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Do you ever see someone so attractive that it makes you sad 😢

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Someone teach me how to skate

[jmac @MacriJordan]

@stuckonyoteeth Tomato tamoto

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Who needs dating apps when you can just slide in on the Bible app

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Catch me on Christian mingle

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Throwback to the days when you were a kid and you would turn purple because you held your breath as long as you could going through a tunnel.

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Dear breakout,

Get the fridge of my face. Thank you

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Me: hasn’t worked out in 6 months

Me: runs 1 mile

Me: almost passed out

[jmac @MacriJordan]

Them: How do you know how to cook? Me: um... years of cooking mama experience!