OG macy mae

when me president, they see. they see.

[Big Tee @societyhatestee]

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep.

[bug girl @buggirl]

in nature if a monkey hoarded 1 trillion bananas the other monkeys would beat that monkey to death and take his bananas

[USA Reject @sadreturns]

how has it been 18 years and this is still one of the funniest videos on the entire internet

[hani @crucifynisis]

do i weird you out or have i weirded you in

[lia @updharmadrown]

what doesn’t kill you will haunt you during commute

[kat @yslnadi]

when you finally understand that it didn't work because you would have hated that life

[Jessy_szn💕 @Astro_jessie]

Me sensing an opportunity to randomly sing a song mid conversation based off words you said

[shy fawkes @butterbooter]

the pigeon doesn’t understand your disdain for it; it coos for you anyway. the tree does not know you own an axe for it; its leaves sway in the sun anyway. the starving cat eats the poison you put out. it doesn’t know how not to trust. the earth forgives you, in spite of yourself

[Hassan Mafi ‏ @thatdayin1992]

A blue whale's poop can weigh as much as 4 tonnes, making it the second largest piece of sh!t in the world just behind Donald Trump.

[ૐ @BirkinAura]

actually your community IS coming to save you, people are going to show up for you, love is going to find you, strangers are going to be like angels, the world conspires for your highest good

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

Ideally life should feel like Animal Crossing. You’re hanging out. Going to the beach. Eating fresh fruit. You are a little in a hole financially but it’s fine

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

i hope the next global trend will be empathy and critical thinking.

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

Me hearing that a football player at my age is “past his prime” while i still don't know what to do when i grow up

[J. Jonah Jameson @JustthefactsJJ]

Time I address the elephant in the room…..There I was, trying to enjoy a Mets game like a normal American. And who shows up sitting behind me? THAT WALL-CRAWLING MENACE! And what is he doing? Save the city? OH NO!!! SITTING IN PREMIUM SEATS PROBABLY PAID FOR BY MY TAX DOLLARS!!!

[helen @helen]

replying to an email that’s been on my to do list every day for 2 months

[𓆩 𝔞𝔟𝔦𝔤𝔞𝔦𝔩 𓆪 @ryokofae]

imagine being mad bc i’m sad about losing this