Madeleine Laing

kind of tall

[The Lifted Brow @TheLiftedBrow]

Not a Tiger at all: A Review of Krissy Kneen's "Wintering", by Madeleine Laing

ping: @krissykneen @Madeleinekl @text_publishing

https://t.co/Lo9i2UdHGo

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

Not to mention they were cooking for Prince Charles. Like fuck. Yuck yuck yuck.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

I know I’m the only ding dong still watching @masterchefau but last night they managed to do a whole episode around native foods without mentioning indigenous Australians ONCE! Disgusting shit!

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

Steve: cops who found that golden state killer guy using his family’s dna must have finally watched ‘Who shot Mr Burns’.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

Breakthrough with my new coworker today as we both agreed salad dressing was ‘mad good’.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

@samga I really thought you were talking about The Shape Of Water until ten minutes ago when I started watching Annihilation.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

Confusing that people have white sheets now because you can eat in bed like three times a day but only fuck twice a month, biologically.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

This white boy band at the night markets has everything; cover of hey ya, changing pronoun in stormy weather from ‘man’ to ‘girl’, $3000 guitars.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

I'd like the hot yoga a lot more if I didn't have the ability to distinguish ball sweat by smell.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

You: Wow ‘Torn’ is a cover
Me: all Antarctic exploration is a cover for maintaining still-alive Hitler’s nazi alien research centre.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

In hindsight I might not have tried to big dog everyone in my first bikram yoga class by going '40 degrees?? I'm from BRISBANE, that's BRISK might bring a CARDIGAN ha ha ha' if I'd known I was gonna throw up in the bin halfway through.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

Still waiting for one thinkpeice to acknowledge ‘youse’ as a gender neutral term, you classist cunts!

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

At the bottle shop - Steve: this is the last six pack I'm gonna buy.
Me: ... oh right well I guess I support your deci-
Steve: Cases only from now on!

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

@samga OH FUCK YEAH I'VE ALREADY SEEN SO MANY GOOD GRAVE YARDS DOWN HERE.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

work year can't end until you've screamed 'run me THE FUCK OVER' at a car that beeps at you to hurry up while you're crossing the street

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

These women admired me, and I'm sorry I granted their greatest wish by taking my extremely talented dick out in front of them. I should've waited until it was their birthday, and I apologize for that.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

Old hero: Mum
New hero: boss at my temp job who keeps a 6pack of room temp vanilla Pepsi maxes on her desk and drinks them all one by one every day.

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

"Police are liaising with parents who have been arriving at Kangaroo Point to collect their children."

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

Finally, a gang for me, someone with $70 and the inability to skateboard https://t.co/SI9pxKGex2

[Madeleine Laing @Madeleinekl]

@samga This has made my house a real fucking disco situation