Madison Paulson

too weird to live, too rare to die

[Gail Walden @GailWalden6]

I still have time for one more divorce

[spin @spinsewz]

good boy

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

Never truly realize how ugly I am until I see myself in a Target self checkout camera.

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

@jessamack_ I know. So pumped.

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

Well Queer Eye’s new season just dropped so you know where I’ll be the rest of the night.

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

It's called the food chain. The shark eats a little shark. The little shark eats a littler shark. Until you get down to a single cell shark.

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

Don’t be a butthead

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

You can always count on pizza

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

sleep when you're dead

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

I just took action with the @NAACP and contacted my representatives about legislation that would provide an equitable recovery for communities of color. Take action with me! https://t.co/GLmiR6FXbP

[ment @mentnelson]

The whole country needs to stop right now and listen to Killer Mike. He’s verbalizing what a lot of us don’t know how to express

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

Never forget, I was reading a book on the beach this weekend and a dude walked up to me and word for word goes "No way, you're reading a book? I don't think I've ever read a book in my life. Do you want to play Can Jam?" A clear winner.

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

Just ate a whole wheel of Brie cheese. Can’t tell if I’m impressed or disgusted with myself

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

And then suddenly, she's not yo ho no mo.

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

@jessamack_ Stasio’s Deli

[Madison Paulson @MadisonPaulson]

Will there ever be a day where I don’t wait until I have two days worth of contacts left before reordering?

[Maddie @mv_pp_]

your attraction to toxic men started when you picked zack over cody