Matthew Warner

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@StephenKing There is another version in which Little Johnny was asked to start a sentence with the letter D. "Dwarf" he said. "Very good", said the teacher, surprised by Johnny's lack of obsenity. "Dwarf", continued Johnny, "with great big hairy bollocks!"

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@HorribleSanity I'm more of "the Whoopoo saith", but that was probably due to last night's kebab.

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@T90Official Show us the Summer Swimwear months...

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@HorribleSanity Didn't she sing for the B52s?

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@EricIdle I think I've had a kebab like that...

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@fakehistoryhunt At last, this proves your true status as a historian. May I recommend the Tudor docudrama "Carry On Henry"? "Carry On Up The Khyber" is also good reference material for an understanding of the parlous state of the modern border region. Anyone for tiffin?

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@fakehistoryhunt Meanies

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@Bucks_Libraries Is there currently an issue with Press Reader logins? Cheers

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@fakehistoryhunt "But Mum! The pig dropped it in the bog! Honest!"

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@fakehistoryhunt Looks like Shrek.

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@EricIdle "The Goodies were better..."

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@EricIdle "If M'Lud permits me, my dearios, the accused was clearly seen grunging his nurdling iron in a public place..."

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@EricIdle Apologies to make fun of a typo but "Rambling Syd Rumpole of the Bailey" amuses me.

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@WeirdMedieval Is there a prize for ticking 'yes' on at least 10 of those? Asking for a friend.

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@merrivius Nick Cave might want a word...

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@CohhCarnage Take it back, the tyres are dirty!

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@fakehistoryhunt Does her head rotate while uttering an ethereal scream as her hands reach for your throat? Asking for a friend.

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@EricIdle Might be fission chips.

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@RhoddryIce @fakehistoryhunt The downward-hanging drapes/curtains on the right side of both eagles have differently shaped bottom edges too.

[Matthew Warner @MafeW64]

@fakehistoryhunt Good heavens, the girl's a brazen lorette!