Maggi Mayfield

I read stuff for money during the day and tell jokes with a guitar at night.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

It’s a movie! It’s a musical! It’s a comedy special!!! Social Media Is Fake is out now! https://t.co/gyRmeuUgzA

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Now that I share a name with my husband, he’s really concerned about how much I believe everything is ai. Like I can’t be sharing fake reels and representing our family like that.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Omg am I really at the age when my friends are going through their second divorce?

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Does anyone NOT dream about running late when you have an early flight to catch? Like, is it possible?

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Why do old people feed the squirrels? Am I crazy or didn’t yall teach us not to feed wild animals!

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Them: Why do you go to therapy, you seem so happy?
Me: I’m happy because I go to therapy. Idiot.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

The most important meal of the day is the one with donuts.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

@DanGoodson11 Damn. Now I need some lasagna to go with that.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

I love toast. Some genius took a bite and thought “nope, cook this again!”

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Airports are wild…the only place where I try new shit: eggs with tobasco and coffee without cream. Who AM I right now?

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Your laptop isn’t dirty until you take it in public to work somewhere.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

I feel like y’all made fun of me for liking Blink182 back in the day. Now ya can’t stop playing it. Radio. Restaurants. It’s on at the grocery store for cryin’ out loud.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

What do you mean I can’t just sit on the couch and eat all day? (Me…staring out the window while the sun beams and the wind gently caresses the trees all while lying to me that it’s the perfect day.)

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

I cry a lot but I am so productive…it’s an art.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

It could be worse, people cpuld still be using Bing.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Growing up we lived near a really full cemetery…and I used to worry that when I die, there won’t be room for me. I’ve always had FOMO.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

BTS of “Better Off Without Me.” Coming soon.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Got some great news in the middle of our tour! Official Selection at the Like It Film Festival.

Thank you to @malonecomedy who took a chance on me & knew exactly how to shape my wild ideas and turn them into magic.
Social Media Is Fake is available on Amazon Prime & YouTube.

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

“With gratitude, optimism is sustainable.” -Michael J. Fox

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

I wore my underwear backwards today if you are wondering how my day was 🤣

[Maggi Mayfield @MaggiMayfield]

Swifties aren’t talking about “Black Dog” enough. Damn. 💔