Maher K. Matta

This guy is a joke. @drybarcomedy

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

My kids just FaceTimed me (from the living room) when I was on the potty in case you’re wondering how my weekend is shaping up.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

I just had the awkward occurrence where you start violently chocking on your own saliva. Several minutes of panic.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

I can’t believe it’s almost Halloween.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

My wife and I share the cleaning chores in her house.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

The Home Depot should make a cologne.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

My biggest fear is getting stuck in an elevator with someone who talks a lot.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Remember, everyone forgets.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Nutella has 30M followers.

Surely I can hit a million?!

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Apparently the Turkish shooter mastered the craft while going through a divorce process. I guess he saw the silver lining. 🤭

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Highly recommend living with a toddler if you love having your phone locked out every now and then.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

I can’t believe 2023 is half over already.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Everyone over 40:

“Gosh I wish those fireworks would stop so I can go to bed.” #4thofJuly

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

The Tesla Cybertruck looks like what Biff would drive in Back to the Future part II.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Smokers always look slightly annoyed.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Crocs look kinda stupid but they’re very handy for travel.

Kinda like a minivan.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Apparently, when Justin Timberlake did his field sobriety test, he was not NSYNC. #justintimberlake

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

Having kids really frees up your weekend.

[Maher K. Matta @MaherKMatta]

I like to ski because I enjoy being sweaty and freezing at the same.