DJ Salinger

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

It's #MyTwitterAnniversary! I have been on Twitter for 9 years (since 5 Apr 2009).
And you? https://t.co/bHd82nrCls

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

DO PEOPLE STILL TWEET?????

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 8 years (since 5 Apr 2009).
And you? https://t.co/bHd82na1tU

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

If you go out to eat at a restaurant for over 4 hours, TIP YOUR SERVER WELL AND DON'T BE A CUNT

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

To all the dudes I used to hook up w/ who now have GFs. It's 2016 no one cares about your preferences...as long as you don't support trump

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

If I can't learn to death drop by the end of the summer I quit being gay

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

People and life change so rapidly it's hard to keep up sometimes

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

Don't go around saying you don't do drugs when you take pre-workout and drink coffee

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 7 years (since 5 Apr 2009).
And you? https://t.co/bHd82na1tU

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

its 2016 and I'm still getting candy crush invites

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

"There was blood and milk EVERYWHERE"

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

Do you think fetty wap's bank pin is 1738?

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

"You can't keep dancing with the devil and ask why you're still in hell"

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

If I could go back in time I would throat punch the inventor of snapchat filters

[thulio @2xthulio]

My Bluetooth just synced with this uber driver's car as Come Clean - Hilary Duff on shuffle. I smell this old Russian man judging me.

[DJ Salinger @Majorhajzer]

I open up my @Chobani Flip yogurt and I get NO FLIP????? What a sad day