Malchezzar

Born Flawed

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This joke was like $200 too expensive

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@FatimaExplains Its what happens before you are done

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@Vexd9 @kirayhf Its what happens before you are cooked

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imagine having a macro/bdsm fetish and your partner ties you to the train tracks of his model town

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stop doing gender reveal parties, and instead reveal body type 1 or 2

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Tigtone vs Xavier Renegade Angel

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@PlayWarframe I mean, if I have to

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Getting sued for my book of Magic Eye illusions that dont show anything at all

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I post "Does ACAB include Miss Piggy?" and simultaneously every living human is sent my photograph, name, and the bounty on my life

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I really hate stories where its about someone fighting their equal. Like Ant-Man fighting another guy with the same ant-man suit, or 007 fighting another rogue agent. Theyre just mirror matches and usually when its all over you get returned to square one

[Malchezzar @Malchezzar]

Polycule battle royale

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My new religion is about how every recent natural disaster and tragedy is related to there not being a new SSX game.

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People watching me dance at the club, yeah we call that the grimace shake

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I hate that youtube is simultaneously both:
"This person watched this video 30%, then turned it off. They hate it, change the algo."
"This person hovered their mouse over the thumbnail, rewrite the entire algo, they love it"

[Malchezzar @Malchezzar]

Astrologist calling someone a leotard

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Analog Whore

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Walking outside with your dog and your cane, and accidentally step off a small cliff. Unfortunately someone saw, and you've been immortalized in artwork, titled: "The Dipshit"

[Malchezzar @Malchezzar]

I put on my "I defeated Burgerzilla" T-shirt. My partner tells me its a fancier restaurant than that. So I take it off and put on my "I finished Gyroshima" T-shirt

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Typing 'foot corn' into google but really sweating to make sure I dont misspell it incase the Algorithm takes hold

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Confiding in your girlfriend that you have a fetish for clowns, then when you see her next dressed the exact same as before, "Perfect! Just like that!"

[Malchezzar @Malchezzar]

@jifferey Honestly the idea of old point and click puzzle logic, except there are so many bullshit solutions so you actually get to feel smart for doing dumb shit, is a good pairing.