mal gal

I used to get called das boot for awhile. washed up college athlete. Just trying my best.

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

Anyone have a dog I can hangout with? Been having serious dog withdrawal lately and I need an extra boost of serotonin

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

My low key flex is being on a first name basis with the DHS security gate guards

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

Whiskey will have you arguing with a guy with mullet if they had butter on the Oregon Trail or not

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

I could get used to this working from home on Friday thing. Most because I’m blasting ABBA while reviewing schedules. It’s all about balance

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

I CAUGHT A FISH. Now I know why men post fish pics on their dating profile. I’m so proud

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

My toxic trait is knowing I’ve needed to get my oil changed for three weeks and I still haven’t done it 🙃

[Łuna @jaaylunaa]

Gents, if your girl works at D*sney, make sure you tell her how good she looks bc the maintenance guys for sure will 💀

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

We’re opening a star cruiser and I’m pretty fricken proud

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

Fuck it. Let’s get wine drunk and slow dance in my kitchen

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

The fact that half of my problems could be solved by drinking more water is offensive to me

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

The pug had bones today and I still got rear ended. Come on Noodle

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

Now that I have become an adult I don’t know why I ever wanted to be one. 0/10. Do not recommend. Very overrated.

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

Got electrocuted today. Do not recommend

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

Newton refuses to admit that Christmas is over

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

This is how my dog sleeps now. That’s all. That’s the tweet. Carry on.

[mal gal @MalorieOlin]

There is a man boarding my flight rn with a to-go carrier full of beers. This guy gets it

[madz @madddiexo]

what do u possibly ask for christmas at 25. like bro i want a house