Mandy Goldman

singer, songwriter, loud-mouthed literature and politics enthusiast

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

@burnetta36 @egoraptor BLM did not storm the capitol in an attempt to disrupt democracy you dumb fucking clod

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

@megrimm @twithaca where is this? Slaterville Rd/79?

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

When the host of your Airbnb asks if they can come in and hang a painting, always say yes.
This painting is at least 50 inches wide. https://t.co/gZKd7ZysNU

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Can’t say it on fb but it needs to be said:

You can’t just be like, “yo dude I’m totally coming to your wedding!”

Or alternatively

“Sorry bro I can’t come to your wedding”

You have to FILL. OUT. THE RSVP.

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

a day in the life of a bookbuyer:

Person: I HAVE A VERY RARE FIRST EDITION TOM SAWYER/GREAT EXPECTATIONS/UNCLE TOM'S CABIN
Me: No you don't.

Other Person: DON'T YOU WANT TO BUY MY VERY OLD BOOK, IT MUST BE VALUABLE BECAUSE IT IS OLD
Me: It's literally garbage

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

yaayyyy recording

[Samuel B. Lupowitz @SamuelBLupowitz]

Loving the @recordinghacks #delphos in omni on this acoustic guitar overdub for @noonfifteen https://t.co/UPz6NMPgIt

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

just finished The Staircase.

THE OWL DID IT.

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

most used emoji is heart, second is eye roll, third is awkward gritted teeth face.

125% accurate.

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

No really sir, I love it when you tell me that REALLY, I MUST read Carl Jung. How else would I know how much you know about cognitive science? Thank you for the gift of your recommendation. I am blesst.

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Tell me why when I hear a droning sound down the hall in my building my first thought is not “power tool” but “vuvuzela?”

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Today is an historic day, for I have given name to the recurrent syndrome of the meat-loving millennial: BDS, or Burger Distress Syndrome. Characterized by an excess of burger. Symptoms: bloat, fatigue, regret. Chronic BDS can occur from too many visits to @IthacaAleHouse

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Hi my name is Mandy and I am addicted to sending my fiancé terrible selfies #aggressivedoublechin @SamuelBLupowitz

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Me: *enters book with French title into inventory system, writes "text in French"*
Customer: *orders book*
Customer: I'M RETURNING THIS BOOK BECAUSE IT'S IN FUCKING FRENCH

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Three different spaghetti straps on three dresses split in one week and WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY CLOTHES LORD I JUST WANT TO LIVE

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Me: "Hello!" *smiles politely*
Customer: *looks at me with dead eyes, no response"
Me: "Cool, yes, I'll just go fuck myself then."

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

This weekend is gonna be craaaazy! We’ll see you all around town with these two FREE shows!… https://t.co/m9er6xUUA4

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

Oskar the blind cat and John Mahoney died. Tonight is horrible, the world is horrible, nothing is good anymore.

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

This whole wage-slavery thing is a fuckin’ racket, ain’t it tho?

[Mandy Goldman @MandyG730]

@WillShishmanian oooh, I haven't listened to this in a while, but I can't wait to see now how much I hate Jamie next time I listen