My brother works the night shift and called me at 10am this morning like “what the fuck are you doing upstairs bro you just woke me up. I’m trying to sleep!” to which I responded “dude it’s a fuckin earthquake”
Everytime I see something about an appendix I think about how Marc spent a month with his ruptured appendix and blamed his weekly wednesday chik-fil-a for the excruciating stomach pains
The hundreds of maskless people at Obama’s birthday party don’t have to worry about covid because they are a “sophisticated, vaccinated,” crowd per @cnn expert. I’m so glad covid can tell if a crowd is sophisticated.