Mari

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@TheJollyBrawler Really starting to feel like women pastors should be doing these counseling sessions.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@JungleAlex13227 🥳

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@WhiteBabyFac The biblical word is suitable not complementary, and its not about his want it's about his need.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@Olking07 Because women are doing it correctly.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@onorma_ Maybe an egg timer to stop everything from burning.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@Balderdash543 Now that was a good post.

[Nigerian Princess @Balderdash543]

The Internet is projecting male sexuality onto women again

Remember, men and women are equal in value and worth, but they do not behave interchangeably, regardless of how much social engineering tries to make it so

This phenomenon is perfectly captured by the theory articulated here, known as the "Cotton Eye Joe" problem

The claim is that wealthy bankers and elite athletes are systematically dropping down on apps to tell average women they’re beautiful, engaging in casual hookups, and then leaving

The post argues this permanently corrupts average women's expectations, leaving normal men with no choice but to issue aggressive ultimatums to get what they want

It sounds plausible to men because, well - this is how men think

In their minds, the modern woman is living like a rock star on the apps, handpicking the most desirable members of the crowd to take to her trailer after the show

Just like how Adam Levine famously told a fan "I don't give autographs to ugly chicks" because he has so much access to beautiful women his head is the size of a beach ball, men think that women on the apps are looking at them the same way

But here’s the funny thing about female singers:

They don’t go banging hundreds of male fans when they’re on tour

It’s the male singers who are doing that with female fans

The "Cotton-Eye Joe" problem is a complete misreading of how female mate selection works

The narrative largely relies on a heavily bastardized version of a famous dataset originally published by OkCupid

The internet was quick to weaponize the finding that women rated 80% of men as "below average" in physical attractiveness on the app

There you have it - definitive proof that women are hyper-superficial and holding out for a top-tier physical elite

Except the internet almost always omits the second, far more important half of the study: actual behavior

When researchers tracked who women actually messaged, engaged with, and went out with, women routinely reached out to men they had rated as average or below average in raw physical looks

For women, physical attractiveness was a baseline parameter, not a hard barrier

Men, on the other hand, rated women’s looks on a standard bell curve, but then almost exclusively messaged the top 20% most physically attractive women

In other words, Chads are not pursuing Plain Janes

Chads are pursuing Staceys, Plain Johns are shooting their shot with Staceys, and Staceys are deciding which of the Chads or Johns she wants based on who can display the highest level of emotional intelligence

It’s actually the Plain Janes who are getting left behind, and the reason Jane is so bitter is because she’s only being contacted by the most desperate Johns who aren’t just ugly, but also have limited charisma, poor hygiene, and often think selling Magic cards online is a stable career path

And before you guys start yelling at me, just know - this is what OkCupid found

Whether or not you agree with their conclusion is one thing, but misquoting their research to suit a narrative is dishonest

That aside, what I really want to talk about is a lot more important than arguing over a study:

What do women actually select for in the first stages of dating?

We know what men select for - signs of fertility (physical attractiveness) because they don’t bear the biological burden of pregnancy

There are secondary traits men select for - trustworthiness probably being the biggest one, but overall, men are much more visual in their selection because sex is far less risky for them

Women, on the other hand, select for who can keep them safe

Remember, childbirth was one of the leading causes of mortality for women throughout human history

Infant mortality was tragically common before modern medicine

And most importantly - women are physically weaker than men on average

The world wasn’t always the modern West, with domestic violence shelters and legal protections against family violence

Modern women are descended from women who knew how to select for male partners who could keep them safe, because the women who selected unsafe partners wound up dead

It doesn’t matter how defined a man’s jawline is if he has an explosive violent temper

It doesn’t matter how tall he is if he’s too lazy to get up in the morning to catch fish to feed the family

The modern world can try to erase hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary biology with air-conditioned office buildings all they want, but it’s not gonna work

Oh, and let’s not forget the Playgirl debacle

Playboy figured since they were doing so well selling magazines of beautiful naked women to men, then surely women would love to have their own magazines of handsome naked men, right?

Yeah, no

Pretty much only gay men bought it

Because men are the visual ones, not women

In spite of a world full of racy images in everyone’s faces, when it comes to dating, women’s brains are still operating in ancient survival mode - constantly scanning for cues that reveal who a man actually is when the honeymoon phase wears off - and those cues almost all tie back to emotional intelligence (EQ)

You’ve probably heard a woman say:

"I can’t be with a guy who doesn’t make me laugh."

Men with low EQ hear that and scoff, "Women just want to be entertained!"

Instantly failing the shit test

In reality, there is extensive research showing that humor production requires high emotional intelligence, theory of mind, and social calibration

To make someone genuinely laugh, you have to read their emotional state, understand their perspective, and calibrate your delivery in real-time

You also may have heard a woman say:

"If he says he’s a nice guy, HE IS NOT A NICE GUY"

Why do women get the ick from a guy saying that, btw?

"I’m a nice guy"

What’s actually wrong with this statement?

Well, it’s a statement that shows a profound lack of emotional intelligence

Being nice is a baseline expectation

It’s like telling someone "I don’t kick puppies"

As opposed to . . . someone who does kick puppies?

That’s all you’re willing to reveal about yourself?

That’s a little off-putting

It signals performative virtue and covert expectations rather than genuine empathy

For a strong example of what high EQ looks like, look no further than musicians

Countless rock stars from Gene Simmons to Lemmy Kilmister (as well as many more) openly admitted they picked up an instrument initially because they wanted to sleep with tons of women

And why did this strategy work so well?

Most men assume women fell for rock stars because of status, money, and cool leather jackets

But from an evolutionary perspective, playing music - or creating art in general - is a male peacock display of high EQ and cognitive fitness to women

Let's look at one of the most beloved romance films of all time - The Titanic

Cal Hockley is wealthy, powerful, and conventionally attractive, but he’s volatile and abusive to Rose - flipping over a breakfast table, manhandling her, at one point even slapping her across the face

It doesn’t matter how rich or handsome a man is if he loses his temper and puts his hands on you

A rich man who will hit you without blinking is more dangerous than a poor man who would sooner die than lay a hand on you

Rose doesn't fall for Jack because of his good looks; she falls for him because she knows he is safe

To go back to the point about art, remember the most famous scene in this film - it's not Jack flexing his muscles or buying her an expensive meal - it's the scene where he draws her

That raw artistic vulnerability, focus, and emotional expression melts women's hearts every single time

Creating art or music requires high emotional regulation, strong pattern recognition, and the ability to express complex internal emotional states in a way that resonates with others

It signals that a man is in touch with his mind, capable of deep focus, attuned to human emotion

But it also signals something even more important - emotionally intelligent men make better husbands and fathers

They have more patience when the children are being difficult

They'll be more forgiving if their wife is having a rough day or in a bad mood

They can control their frustrations at work because they have the emotional regulation to remember that feeding their family is more important than getting into a petty pride struggle with their boss

It reminds me of a call on John Deloney's show where a guy was explaining how he couldn’t understand why he was struggling so hard with dating

He started listing off all his "stats" - his height, his income, his career, his volunteer work

John interrupted him and asked what he would do if he won the lottery tomorrow

The caller thought for a second, and said he’d probably just retire early and work on his landscape paintings

It turned out this man had an ENTIRE BASEMENT full of intricate landscape paintings he had created over the course of several years, and didn't think to tell women that on dates

This is where male and female thinking gets lost in translation

Women don’t want to hear a sterile résumé of your height and spreadsheets

They want to see a part of you that demonstrates depth, passion, self-awareness - i.e signs of emotional intelligence

Many men view the ick as petty and superficial, but evolutionary psychologists view it differently

The ick is a rapid, subconscious protective threshold firing off

It is the visceral detection of a sudden display of low EQ - poor spatial awareness, lack of emotional control, performative insecurity, or social instability

When a man throws a churlish fit, acts helpless in a basic situation, exhibits needy behavior, uses dehumanizing language like "empty egg carton" or compares women to used cars, his "mask" slips

The female brain instantly registers: this man is uncalibrated, he cannot handle stress, and he is not a safe or reliable partner

The physical turn-off is nothing more than a biological enforcement mechanism

The "Cotton-Eye Joe" theory blames women's standards on a fleeting hookup with a high-status banker, insisting that women have been somehow hoodwinked into holding out for the top tier of looks and wealth

It completely misses the point

Women aren't opting out of the dating pool because their expectations were corrupted by a handsome athlete on Tinder

They are opting out because a massive percentage of the dating pool they're encountering online (not IRL) lacks basic emotional intelligence

Many of these men lack personal perception, rely on bitter narratives, demand all the benefits of accessing a woman's body with none of the responsibility that comes with it ("I want kids, but I'm never getting married, marriage is a scam, let's split the bill, etc."), offering zero social calibration (such as asking a woman "What do you bring to the table?" when he's the one who wants her to carry and breastfeed his babies), and then mistake a woman’s need for safety and emotional fitness for superficiality

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@TakketyTam We need to start asking these guys if they're circumcised and if not, why not?

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@_nativeamerica You can do this bit a million times with whatever celebrity. We're cool.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@TheBritLad Dog. 100%. Every time.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@_melgibson1_ Yes.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@DeepLeaksHQ What's the emergency?

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@TheMuppetPastor 26 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@TheMuppetPastor The submission is mutual, and biblical author is different from what pagens do.
Matthew 20
25 But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@PositivFuturist Thank you that was very helpful.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@KagimuDrImran @Silas17268 Minutes?

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@StefanMolyneux What happened to you? You used to be smart?

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@JackNapierNot No.

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@Alexander_Avina Why can't his mom go back with him?

[Mari @Mari4m43]

@LazyDave1970 Yeah, but it's wasted on a man the better you treat him the worse he treats you.