Mario In Arizona

My Wife's Friend Pedro Is A Good Man.

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

Me: Did u have fun at happy hour with your friend Pedro?

Wife: Actually, it was more like a happy hour and 45 minutes ;)

Me: ...

[Secular Talk ([email protected]) @KyleKulinski]

@piersmorgan Idk Piers I think the pedophile rapist billionaire cult is more divisive personally

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

My New Year's resolution is to start Yoga.

In hindsight, I should have done this before last year's resolution : start wearing yoga pants.

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@WhiteHouse Is there more candy in his white van?

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

I've always wanted to dramatically say to someone "I guess you didn't know me as well as well as you think you did" but never have the opportunity because everyone knows me as well as they think they did.

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@MATEScast @KeeblerUS @michaelianblack @CavanaghTom They never acknowledged that they reviewed Fudge Stripes before. I wonder if they actually forgot?

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@StarburnsAudio @MikeandTom @michaelianblack @CavanaghTom You guys reviewed this snack already...back in episode 2! The snack game is in utter chaos!!! #michaelianblack #tomcavanagh

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@michaelianblack This is your third time doing peanut M&M's.

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@MATEScast @mmschocolate @michaelianblack @CavanaghTom @StarburnsAudio But they already did peanut M&M's already on episodes 85 and 25!

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

I have a life update for you guys. It will probably be a big shock to everyone. It certainly was to me.

My wife and her friend Pedro have been sleeping together this whole time! #Divorced

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@luvlyjonezy Oh good! Glad not too much has changed around here...

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

Hi guys. It's been a while. Do people still tweet about eating ass?

[(((gina grad))) @GinaGrad]

When did the whistle become the gold standard for cleanliness?

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@LoveNLunchmeat @OLDIRTYDIAPER

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@dashiell I see what you did there!

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@michaelianblack Is your name Google? Because you're everything I'm searching for. 1😍

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@GinaGrad Is your name Google? Because you're everything I'm searching for! 😍

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@KyleKulinski @cenkuygur @AnaKasparian @jimmy_dore You never chastised them. You pointed out their mistakes and things they did that you don't agree with. If they want to end a friendship because of that, then that's their loss.

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@GinaGrad Happy Birthday my friend. Hope your special day is as awesome as you are!

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@ItalianBratikus

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

@cosmicmathilda Feetastic!