Marissa Jo Johnson

Stuff and whatever. Liker of all things hermit crab.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

I only drink water as a chaser for vodka. I drink vodka to stay hydrated, basically.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

Twitter is not letting me unfollow people. So. I have decided to make a new twitter.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

SOUNDSET.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

I just saw a sign for a free evangelists church and thought. "Oo. Free!"

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

"Marissa, you're pretty good at interpretive dancing!" @that_indiankid9

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

Seeing all of these prom pictures makes me wish that prom was a better expirience.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

I got a new phone! No numbers. Please text 5072177313 with love. Or just your name if that's what you're comfortable with.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

Today would be a nice day to live a new life. Just to see what it's like quick. Then I could switch back.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

What happens to @dominos employees when you give them Viagra? They grow.

[no one @_mindofaloner]

Is admitting to yourself that you're not as great a person as you think harder than telling yourself that you're not as great as you think

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

Hsbsyctskebxh. Ugh.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

Most days I am a huge disappointment to younger Marissa.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

@heypayton2013 When it comes to pizza, the answer is always yes.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

How am I gunna make it home? #SoSleep

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

You ever try pooping someone else's pant but poop in your own pants and then get real embarrassed? Yeah, me neither.

[life of a blonde @lifeofablondee]

every girls favorite restaurant

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

If I were wearing boots, I would be shaking in them.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

Do you wanna get a prostitute with me and like.. set her free?

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

@hannahjakel :( tennis is bomb.

[Marissa Jo Johnson @Marizzzle]

"Fuck that. Do you and I'll be routin' for ya."