Markie

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Documenting milestones… today she switched to “Oh Fuck!” 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

...And the parent of the year award goes to ME for having a 1.5 year old that now appropriately uses the phrase “OH SHIT!!!”

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Tell me you’re a 90’s kid without telling me you’re a 90’s kid:

I was named after my dad Mark, Actress Markie Post, and Rapper Biz Markie 😂

RIP to a fellow Markie!

https://t.co/7pLoS0AG07

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

On a drive, I saw an actual fox running through Fox Run Drive.

Wonder if they named Bill Bone Drive after they saw an actual Bill boning?

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Just bought a huge set of pretty dishes!! I’ll miss reading pirate jokes from my mismatched collection of 90’s pizza hut kids cups though. These are the things I’m giddy to tweet about nowadays?

But seriously. They’re unbreakable, dishwasher/microwave safe, and eco-friendly👵🏻🍽

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

...And the parent of the year award goes to ME for having a 1.5 year old that now appropriately uses the phrase “OH SHIT!!!”

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Took Marlie to a hotel with a nice pool since we’ve barely left the house in a year. Woke up to actual ants in my pants 🐜😫 I didn’t choose the recluse life, the recluse life chose me.

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

2009-2020: worked hard af to build up savings, paid off every penny of college/cars/flip house debt, and put $106k towards mortgage

2021: quit my job to stay home with my daughter while she’s still little

I’m so grateful and still can’t believe we actually made it happen 🤯😭🥰

[NoCoast Beer Co. @NoCoastBeerCo]

Stop in at Hy-Vee in Oskaloosa for a great deal on SmokeyRowCoast Coffee Porter - 4pack pints $9.49 #iabeer #osky #coffee #brew #CraftBeer #IowaBeer #DarkBeer #porter #HappyHour #Cheers #NoCoast

[Rachel @femaleredhead]

yeah sex is cool but what about when you’re cutting wrapping paper and it goes ——— instead of ~~~~~

[NoCoast Beer Co. @NoCoastBeerCo]

SmokeyRowCoast Coffee Porter has landed at Court Ave Hy-Vee! #iabeer #DSM #Coffee #brew #DarkBeer #IowasBeer #winter #ChristmasParty #CraftBeer #HappyHour #Cheers

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

I’m going to be in for a SHOCK on 12/26 when I realize I no longer have a legitimate excuse to be online shopping 24/7 😫

[NoCoast Beer Co. @NoCoastBeerCo]

SmokeyRowCoast Coffee Porter is back. Pick up a 4pack of this dark, bold, and delicious Coffee Porter #iabeer #CraftBeer #Coffee #DarkBeer #WinterWarmer #ChristmasParty #IowaBeer #brrr #HappyHour #Cheers #NoCoast

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Dear Santa, I’ve been very good this year. Please bring me a $1000 nugget ice maker with water dispenser and a new garage. Love you, thanks.

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

PSA: If you sign up for Hulu (today only) it’s only $1.99/month for a year

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Today I’m thankful that 1863 Abe Lincoln decided Thanksgiving would be on a Thursday so that a bunch of us could have 2 days off from work instead of just one

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Working on your birthday should be against the law

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

@a__christenson All the time 🤯😍

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

I turn 27 on Friday. I had to use a calendar and a calculator for this tweet

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

I have nothing to lose with my at-home teeth straightening kit. If I ever miss the way my janky old smile looked, I can just use the aligners again in reverse order

[Markie @MarkieRoake]

Anyone else get the random feeling like there’s a papercut behind your ears? No, just me? Cool.