Reassuring news for anyone still worried about the climate.
We've worked it out.
Get rid of the cow.
That's the plan. That's the whole plan. Decades of policy, billions of pounds of research funding, an entire industry of consultancy work in mid-rise glass buildings in Brussels, all converging on a single elegant solution that fits on a fridge magnet.
Get rid of the cow.
The cow, currently standing in a field in Herefordshire, eating grass that grew without anyone's permission, drinking rainwater that fell from a sky we have not yet found a way to bill for, fertilising the ground beneath her feet with a substance that has been functioning as a soil amendment since the late Pleistocene.
That cow.
She's the one.
Replace her with what? Don't worry about it. Something will turn up. A patty grown in a bioreactor in Singapore, heated by natural gas, funded by a man in a black turtleneck. A patch of Brazilian soy where a forest used to be, pressed into a burger that bleeds beetroot juice. An almond, somehow.
But get rid of the cow.
The container ships will continue. The cobalt mines will continue. The lithium ponds will continue. The fourteen streaming services running on coal-fired data centres will continue. The annual Davos summit, where the cow is discussed at length by people who flew in on private jets, will continue.
But not the cow.
Once she's gone, the atmosphere clears. The rain becomes optional. The grass on the hillsides of Snowdonia composts itself politely and goes home. The dung beetles find other employment. The kestrels write strongly worded letters.
Don't ask what eats the grass. Don't ask what stands on the 65% of British land that grows nothing else. Don't ask where the leather comes from, or the tallow, or the bone meal in your roses.
Don't ask any of that.
Just get rid of the cow.
The planet is counting on you.
Mostly on her absence.
Activist: "Your cows are putting carbon into the atmosphere."
Farmer: "Where did they get it?"
Activist: "What?"
Farmer: "The carbon. Where did the cow get it before it put it anywhere."
Activist: "From... eating?"
Farmer: "From eating grass. And where did the grass get it."
Activist: "The soil?"
Farmer: "The air. The grass pulled it out of the air last spring. The cow ate the grass. The cow breathed some of it back out. It went back into the air it came from."
Activist: "But it's still going into the atmosphere."
Farmer: "It's going back. There's a difference between a thing going somewhere and a thing going back. You've described a circle and you're frightened of it."
Activist: "Then just don't have the cow."
Farmer: "The grass still dies in autumn. It rots where it falls. The carbon goes back into the air either way, just without anyone getting fed in the middle."
Activist: "It's not that simple."
Farmer: "It's grass, cow, breath, grass. Or it's grass, rot, air, grass. Same circle, fewer dinners. If that's complicated for you I'd stay away from the water cycle. That one's got clouds in it."
Dorenell wind farm in Moray is paying just over half what it is expected to locals.
Over 25 years, communities will miss out on nearly £11m. Dorenell is owned by EDF - the French state-backed firm.
Are communities being ripped off? Full story 👉https://t.co/ey88c5cbas
All the more galling for people in Scotland when they see the generation of that energy right outside their windows, and yet pay some of the highest electricity prices in the British state. Then Labour cut the winter fuel allowance and let energy prices go up again for everyone
Your occasional reminder that Scottish Labour now DEMANDING a vote on the Winter Fuel Payments they voted against. only *checks notes* last month 😳
This is Clown Car politics dressed up as principle...
Yesterday, British #Farmers donated 6.6 tonnes of fresh food, which = over 15k meals for Londoners facing #foodpoverty. #CityHarvest CEO, Calcutt: “We were honoured to ensure every donation was safely received + handled with as much care as the time + skill spent producing it."
Wick, Caithness. The county produces 1300% of its electric demand from onshore wind. Wick has views of 2GW of offshore wind with another 2GW in planning. The 3 production platforms of the Beatrice oil field also visible. Home to 2 of the top 10% deprived data zones in Scotland.
Former Tory Chancellor & Health Minister Sajid Javid to become partner at private equity firm Centricus.
Already collected £450,000 consultancy fees.
He destroyed the NHS, wanted to change people for seeing GP and going to A&E.
Now hired by paymasters.
https://t.co/xndudrjg5K
In my lifetime: atmospheric carbon has risen by 50%
But also:
World population ⬆️76%
Cars on the road ⬆️225%
Air passengers ⬆️575%
Oh, and let’s not forget…
worldwide cattle ⬇️ 5%
Let’s act on the true cause and not what the money “tells” us to do. Credit: @thisfarmlife
Leccy Theft
Scots are demanding a radical shake up of how we pay our energy bills. We 're typically paying over 50% more than people in London for electricity standing charges, called the 'Scottish surcharge' on energy.
£238.64 - Scotland : £156.26 - London. (Ofgem data)
Whilst he was overseeing the deaths of 200,000 people, impregnating Carrie Johnson and dancing to FCKing Abba. Whilst he was signing off huge contracts to friends and donors and missing cobra meetings time and time again. Whilst he was being ambushed by a cake and
Labour & Conservatives secret plans for Scotland if they win The Scottish Parliament.
1: To Stop mitigating bedroom tax, to bring in-line with England
2: To cancel the baby box, as they do not have it in England
3: Scottish Students to pay £27,750 + to receive university tuition, in-line with students in England
4: All period products to be charged in Scotland, to bring in-line with England
5: Scottish Health funding to be lowered, to come in-line with England
6: All prescription charges to be charged at £9.35 per item as in England
7: NHS Dental care to be charged for all those under 26 as in England
8: Free Personal Care for everyone to be cancelled
9: All disable, elderly & under 22's to be charged for travel as in England
10: The Scottish Child Payment to be scrapped as they don't have it I England
Check out what else will be scrapped and unmitigated if any unionist party was to ever gain control of the Scottish Parliament.
https://t.co/kpodDMHFpY