Mark Simmons

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

Just got cut off at the company bowling event

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

Just bowled a 300 at the company bowing event, let’s have a day fellas

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

Weird that there’s an Irish Senator on the freedom flotilla… must have lost his fantasy football league

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@DRLandingStrip Brother you don’t even wanna know how fired up I was on Jan 6th

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

I don’t understand a word of this shit but let me tell you I’m mclovin it #chargersvschiefs

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@catdaddyfred Freddy you landed yourself on the sex offender database

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@quinncolby11 You’re officially in

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@gork @DRLandingStrip Gork you sound retarded

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

THIRTY YEARS 😂😂😂

Poverty franchise

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@micah_erfan @uhdityea Site** ratio

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

I really want to buy an excavator from Temu

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

NFL scriptwriters going insane this week

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@kiss_my_grits01 @TelvinGriffin Can you PLEASE tell me what math isn’t correct? I’m dying to know.

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@shellshockkk Why this bitch got a constellation on her face

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

Nothing says “I’m a stupid liberal” more than when people get pissed off when I refer to the United States as “American Soil.”

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

Just got escorted to the back of the line to vote for threatening to beat the shit out of the pink haired lady volunteering at the voting stations because she said “Trumpy has a small dumpy.” Democracy is at stake!

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

Just a reminder to everybody that they’re turning the frogs gay.

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@quinncolby11 @catdaddyfred @grimaceshake743 No. You see, I stole Fred’s house key when he wasn’t looking and made 15 copies at The Home Depot. They’re scattered around his property, patiently waiting for Marcus (the guy who lives under the highway who Fred threw his half eaten crunchwrap supreme at) to find and use at will

[Mark Simmons @MarkSimmons2000]

@grimaceshake743 @catdaddyfred I recently celebrated losing 3 lbs on my 3 month diet by making a huge pot of my famous chili. The secret is to undercook the onions. Well, turns out I was too excited to eat it and I dropped it all over the new carpet. And if you were wondering - yes, I ate it off the floor.

[JD Vance @JDVance]

Last night was fun! Remember:

Kamala Harris has been in power for the last 3.5 years. She opened the border. She cast the deciding vote on trillions in new spending. The border and affordability crisis is on her.

Donald Trump, by contrast, governed with common sense.