'the' mark elliott

im a simple c*** who lives in halty, living for the weekend where i love to smash pasties, drink ale, corz fights and generelly corz seens. #mdma

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

Mal just sent me down street for a left handed screwdriver but richy skeet dosent have any left

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@parkcy17 should have scene my year, 1/2 the cunts failed their blood test and the other 3/4 were thicker than me.#educatiingblackies

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@harveysmam @haltycons @ryton_sunday_fc uh oh, im sorry. my account was genuinly hacked today, normally i dont involve other clubs #tremlove

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

still dont think its right that the cons have to play against 2 teams on sunday, ryton AND crawcrook, its a con #conme #conned #conlove

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@haltycons sorry about those tweets today, wasnt me, left my phone in thecanteen at work and got twaped by martyn crowe #eidergudjohnson

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@DanGrimshaw14 hows life in austria pal? we miss you at kilfrost like, not the same without you and those rascal shirts you can produce

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

soz for the tweets like - been on the jagers and wife beater with Mal Hind and Batey since monday. #seens #hardcore

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

and finally, my #simplethoughtoftheday..... when is that fucking @jimmybell23 going to give me a league start. 1 friendly isnt enough for me

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

looking forward to sunday to see my team @haltycons take those plastic geordies from @ryton_sunday_fc apart on the weekend.

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

off for a spray tan and a fresh cut today with @M_Robson #gizalookatya #whowantsthesimplecunt

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@corbridgesmyrks arse, stick the big lad up top, bypass the midfield and put them under presure, its a game of 3 halves #marksmasterstroke

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

simple marks massage parlour now open, full body and head massage, reiki therapy, tanning, mottout and finger blasting. first session free

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@corbridgesmyrks @Synthonia billy the fish is a synthonia fan, so is the faithful border binliner #comeonyousynneeeeerrrrrrrrrrssssss

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@KatieDawnBrown youd better get yourself checked out after last night pet, i think ive got clamidia, just saying. #rohipnol #naughtymark

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

cant believe nobody came in for me yesterday, cons wont pick me and jim white couldnt even find me a club. fuck off #jockcunt #sweatiesock

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@JonnyWallace22 @M_Robson_ will the real johnny Wallace please get onside @GregIrwin123 #getbackindefence

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

Can't believe we went dogging on the way home from prudhoe town y'day. Buckin fingerin, riding and swapsies with the Asian lad #leanne4mark

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@HallBhall think id rather be a peedo than a mackem how hallball #blackcatsmackemtwats #wheresmejimmysavilleonesie

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

follow me im thicker than lard, i drink 2 pints and think im hard, like a drunken old medieval bard, im simple mark the cons fucktard #seens

['the' mark elliott @MarkSimplemark]

@jimmybell23 @StoxOnSunday @haltycons i may be an idiot but im next in line for the hotseat if results dont pick up #underpressure #jimmywho