MartínPeralta

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

"I liked small butts. I was lying." - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession http://t.co/hEfybzv4jS

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/X7FIE2zHHV Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt?

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/3EzHymyEfX Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/OCewhaB5ha I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February. http://t.co/KffQ2dIbA1

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/oIknQJ0PqZ No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/2lH96c6naH

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/OVDcvlg78W Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt?

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/OqUiJIEK6u Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/8yb5xHdT64 I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade http://t.co/8L1343Hv1D

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt? http://t.co/FXX6Qa4ldf

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/xhFs0wIpX7 I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? http://t.co/5E0t5KKnN2

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. http://t.co/PPNImPCcqs

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/T7r12BB6WH "It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

Her legs spread so easy, I can't believe it's not butter. http://t.co/z9YeuvO9

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/8LowyyfA My can of whoop ass seems to have expired.

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

http://t.co/mZYV8XjY The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher.

[MartínPeralta @Martincho147]

Quick question... How many Facebook pokes before it's okay to ask her to take a load to the face? http://t.co/aPGTqDrs