Meathawk

Scottish Aussie, borderline alcoholic with a penchant for converse.

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@DoryLamptey You know that’s Maradona’s spot. And while you’re at it swap Ronaldo for the real one.

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@CLavety @badly_drawn_boy @bellesglasgow Yeah mate, going to go 👍

[T'Other Simon Out of Plastic Jeezus @TOther_Simon]

How to distinguish between moths and goths - a diagram.

[Balderdash @notDcfcBoss]

‘Small boys in the park. Jumpers for goalposts. Critiques of government immigration policies comparing them to 1930’s Germany. Mmm isn’t it.’

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@gsturrock11 @LTCPLUS Saw them live and they were amazing, just got tickets to see them again in Feb 👍

[Tom Jamieson @jamiesont]

One of the few clips it doesn’t matter if you have seen it a million times, you will ALWAYS laugh

[captionquirk @CaptionQuirk]

What if they faked the queen’s death just so they could have the most shocking Masked Singer reveal ever

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Tony Adams with the best performance from an Englishman tonight. #Strictly

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@kennymunro @polscotrpu @GlasgowNPolice @GlasgowCC @MyGlasgowCC No one likes a grass.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I'm not really into gadgets but my wife convinced me to get a pair of AirPods. I didn't think I'd need the 'plastic case' they came in so threw it away. After I realised what it was for I was too embarrassed to tell her and said I lost it.

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@gsturrock11 @SoccerAM Walters over Albertz. You on the glue?

[Amy Van Gar @amyvangar]

No one:

The toothpaste when you've forgotten to put the cap back on:

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@CLavety Was there more than one?

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@Scrumplechops Not you too.

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@kennymunro @GreaterGlasgPol @GlasgowNWPolice @polscotrpu @ChSuptRoads @GlasgowCC @AnnaLangside Why did you tag the Celtic manager in this 🤷‍♂️

[ryan wilson @ryanwilson89]

Skill of the man! @StuartWHOGG_ who cares about the try!?
Ball out the back door lands back in your hands!?? Playin up!!!

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making Star Wars puns

I guess divorce is strong with this one...

[Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain]

Twitter really needs to introduce - and I can’t emphasise this enough - bold, underline and italics.

[Meathawk @MartyStrang]

@ristrettoTV @DadJokeMan Oh shut up and stop looking for a link that isn’t there. There’s always one 🙄