Marty Webb

Soli Deo Gloria.

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Was asked why I'd want to worship a God I couldn't understand.

Well, why would I want to worship a God so simple that he made perfect sense to me? That would be a small, useless, utterly unworthy god indeed.

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

"I am in over my head. I should be drowning, but I'm not. I guess Jesus is my snorkel."
^^^the most relevant use of "snorkel" I ever heard

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Marty vs. Power Tools, pilot episode. An epic battle between an electric saw and some girl with a ridiculous DIY project

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Footage of me at the gym

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Me trying to find a dieting accountability partner

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Proud new #catmom <3

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

A cheese grater can also be a spaghetti strainer if you believe in yourself.

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

I want a cooking show where nothing is "tender" or "flaky."

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Resume: I might be a basket case but for what it's worth I'm really good at holding baskets

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Three failed campfire attempts, two bad guitarists, and one painted sky. We couldn't have asked for a better conclusion to the week.

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Rest assured, the people who clean your room after you leave know a LOT about you. (:

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

"Glitter is the Devil's dandruff."
(Reflections from a fellow janitor)

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

New job's dress code basically boils down to "match the sugar packets" #igettobesplenda

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

But why buy it for $7 when I could make it with 3 weeks and $30 of materials?

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

Just debated theology for two hours with the Mormon mission president. *hyperventilates*

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

My English student wrote a movie pitch about me fighting with an octopus and I've never been so proud.

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

@RichardAyoade is everything I love about British comedy. And he's got luscious hair to boot. #mcm

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

"was ur family reunion fun?" "why are you stressed?" "why are you tearing out your hair and muttering about changing your last name?"

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

I'm no dog person but a puppy followed me home and my heart melted like grilled cheese.

[Marty Webb @MartyW_27]

My hair is pink now. Still trying to figure out exactly where today went wrong...