Mary Table For One

maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s a defense mechanism

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

me as a kid: “i want to be older so my parents can’t tell me what to do”

me now: “mom, i will literally do whatever you want if you put me back on the family plan”

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

I think OSU could beat the bears

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

Okay so the Ohio State v Texas game so far looks like two really good teams but Ohio State took pump up cocaine before coming on the field

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

Not all heroes wear capes

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

The @LeTour always inspires me to get on my bike, but it also makes me hate myself because I realize I wouldn’t even make it through 1/2 a single stage #fitness

[Harrison Milford @HarrisonMilford]

Da goodest boy🥹

[Lev Parikian @LevParikian]

Fixed it

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

Me: “my favorite part of being single is having my whole bed to myself”

My animals: “lol fuck off, scoot over troll”

[*bd*ll*h @ab00xx]

“sir i’m gonna need you to step out of the vehicle and walk in a straight line.”

justin timberlake:

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

I’m back bitches

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

Them: “what’s your type”
Me: “mayhem from the commercial- seems like fun, definitely going to ruin my life”

[I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩 @ITYSL_memes]

Early word on ITYSL S3 is that it’s a cosmic mix of the action of the 90’s combined with the exploitation films of the 70’s, but with modern touches. It’s hyper-violent, but it knows that it is. It’s kind of a Cosmic Gumbo. It almost moves to the beat of Jazz.

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

What’s a troubling reaction caused by your mental Illness? I’ll go first (ADHD, OCD tendencies): pretty sure if someone broke into my apartment while I was home, the first thing I would do is apologize for the dog hair/not vacuuming

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

This is my OOO on 07JUL2023

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

It fills me with such pride and joy to announce that my version of Speak Now will be out July 7 (just in time for July 9th, iykyk 😆) I first made Speak Now, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20. The songs that came from this time in my life were marked by their brutal honesty, unfiltered diaristic confessions and wild wistfulness. I love this album because it tells a tale of growing up, flailing, flying and crashing… and living to speak about it. With six extra songs I’ve sprung loose from the vault, I absolutely cannot wait to celebrate Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) with you on July 7th. Pre-order now at https://t.co/m3KNl71qrY 💜💜💜

[Netflix Is A Joke @NetflixIsAJoke]

when I heard there's new ITYSL this month

[I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩 @ITYSL_memes]

happy Brian’s Hat Day to all who celebrate

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

@LabCsu I’ll do it. I won’t work but will provide comedic relief from time to time.

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

*emails I wish I could send at work*
Hi,
Can you do your fucking job for once?”
See you in hell,
Mary

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

@tomcat09 We need a lover tour asap JUST LOVER

[Mary Table For One @MaryTableForOne]

Okay @LoveisBlindShow I do like the Lacheys but can you instruct them to be more chaotic