Mason Johnson

“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso” - Rita Rudner.

[BostonWriter @bostonwriter]

If this sort of thing doesn’t stop you in your tracks and make even the slightest twinge of pride rise in your soul… well… I feel sorry for you.

[SMB Attorney @SMB_Attorney]

With a week to reflect, I’m convinced this was the greatest moment in sports history.

A 2-star recruit leads the worst program ever to a national championship, beats his hometown team that wouldn’t let him walk on, and finishes it by running over the same guy who knocked him out the year before, with his mother battling MS watching from the stands.

If it was a Disney movie, you’d say it was too much.

[Mason Johnson @Mason_A_J]

Stop this horse 💩. Invest in the younger generations! Stop trying to torpedo the MAGA agenda again senators…

[Senate Republicans @SenateGOP]

America’s seniors will see a new $6,000 bonus exemption as a part of the Working Families Tax Cut.

That’s $93 billion in tax cuts for seniors all over the country.

[Brett McMurphy @Brett_McMurphy]

Indiana’s Curt Cignetti asked if he would consider NFL job: “I’m not an NFL guy. I made that decision a long time ago. I’ve always been a college football guy”

[J'Dinkalage Morgoone @ItsABullLife4Me]

Miami rn watching Indiana steamroll Oregon realizing they are next in line

[Jade Law @jadel4w]

Microslop

[👑💥 Serenity 💥👑 @polishprincessh]

Members of Congress leaving for the weekend.

[Mason Johnson @Mason_A_J]

Shocker

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: The Pentagon has failed its annual audit, the eighth year in a row.

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

BREAKING: Report finds between 2021-24, US foreign-born population accounted for more than 60% of rental demand growth, per HUD Sec. Scott Turner.

[The Rabbit Hole @TheRabbitHole]

DOGE shutting down is a huge disappointment. Government is only ever growing and this seemed like a golden opportunity to reign things in.

Major L for the administration.

They could’ve done better.

[Gunther Eagleman™ @GuntherEagleman]

🚨 How is this headline not breaking news on every mainstream media outlet in America today….?

“FORMER CAPITOL POLICE OFFICER AND CIA OPERATIVE PLANTED THE PIPE B0MB ON J6”

We were right again.

[Robby Starbuck @robbystarbuck]

If you’re dumb enough to vote for a commie who clearly hates America like Mamdani, then I think you should be forced to stay in NYC until he’s gone. You should have to experience everything you voted for. No take backs. No exit routes. You touched the stove, now feel the burn.

[Kaitlin Bennett @KaitMarieox]

Florida is HORRIBLE. There are alligators and mosquitos EVERYWHERE. And we get hurricanes. Lots of hurricanes. DON'T MOVE HERE!

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

BREAKING: Google admits to censoring under the Biden administration, says it will reinstate banned YouTube accounts that were censored for political speech.

[Western Lensman @WesternLensman]

MSNBC’s Chris Hayes on Kimmel getting fired: This renders the First Amendment meaningless.

Chris Hayes on Tucker getting fired: He believed he could say anything no matter how disgusting and get away with it. Over time, that’s not going to work out well for you.

[Political Polls @PpollingNumbers]

77% of Republicans believe it is always unacceptable to feel joy at the death of someone they oppose, while only 38% of Democrats share this view (YouGov)

[RAW EGG NATIONALIST @Babygravy9]

This is where glorifying Luigi Mangione gets us.

[Dr. Simon @goddek]

🚨BREAKING: France has already surrendered.

[johnny maga @johnnymaga]

Trump is setting up index fund accounts for newborns seeded with $1,000, where parents can then invest up to $5,000 a year, tax-deferred.

If parents max out the accounts, kids will have well over six figures for their education when they graduate.

Genius