Stephen Hoey

Surly/Asshole. Choctaw Bingo Enthusiast. Tweets are only composed over the legal BAC

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

This is what it sounds like in my brain after 1 whiskey and 1 cigarette

[Jeremy @Pimp_Lord619]

There’s this grunge wrestler named Steven Flowe who’s theme song Even Flow except all the words are just changed to Steven Flowe

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

@Cardinals Jack Buck and Mike Shannon are rolling in their graves watching him spill all that good cold bud

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

@martyrmade @LindseyGrahamSC Pompey Magnus the Iberians simply don’t understand why they must support Crassus’s legacy campaign against the Parthians even though the Senate and Caesar have consented

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

@MarioNawfal What are those subs supposed to sink with their heavyweight torpedoes? The Strait of Hormuz is 60-100 meters deep. Can these magical subs dive through the ocean floor? How does remaining submerged and undetected for weeks stop drones from flying into oil tankers?

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

I fucked up the 1600 daily double world history question on Jeopardy in front of both parents and the dogs. Demoted to dish duty and we won’t celebrate my birthday next year

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

Rest easy fallen soldier we have the watch now. I’ll see you in Valhalla

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

The waitress from Seattle just told me my pumpkin spice espresso martini recipe is better than the one at Starbuck’s Reserve. Suck it Corporate America

[duchovny! @DAlgonquin]

your english teacher and your gym teacher are getting married 🧨

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

Me tomorrow trying to figure out why I have heartburn after having nachos and margs for dinner

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

“Heading off to the Dick/Locker for a ball pump and some gel inserts”

[graham @Graham_Stl]

Blown save by Helsley followed by a Nolan Arenado walk off HR

[Blues Views @STLBluesViews]

The St. Louis Blues are a Western Conference wildcard. #STLBlues

[Bartolo Colón @BColon40]

I wonder how many home runs I would’ve hit with a torpedo bat 🤔

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

Another Daylight Savings another broken promise from Washington DC. Can we fix this shit because this year it’s cutting into Bloody Mary time instead of an 11 hour shift and that’s significantly worse.

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

I think every cokehead I’ve ever met has said this to me in the first 30 minutes of conversation

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Cocaine "is no worse than whiskey" and is only illegal because it comes from Latin America, said Colombian President Gustavo Petrohas said per CBS

[dickie “bump n fade” bailey @dickie_bailey1]

I wonder if there are any ball knowers out there. One of the greatest beers ever made

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

Labadie Deer Camp 2024

[St. Louis Metropolitan Police @SLMPD]

Earlier this week, District 6 officers responded to the 4200 block of Labadie about an armed person, possibly pointing a gun. Officers found a group of men in possession of multiple firearms and suspected fentanyl. Three men were arrested. Great work by District 6! #SaferSTL

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

How I feel in October when the groups of old ladies start getting together for weekday lunches and the servers tell me they all refer to me as the “Handsome young man”

[Stephen Hoey @Master_Hoe]

Biker: There’s a guy out there yelling at us for parking 12 motorcycles on the sidewalk!!

Me: Oh I’m sorry about that, but it’s not really there for you to park on. Plenty of other spots out there

Biker Karen: I need to talk to the owner

Happy Sunday to some real outlaws

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

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