Matthew

Full-time time traveller. Likely telling a dad joke/bad pun.

[Matthew @mathMATTical]

We built our home among the cacti, like wrens, so in love.

[WMU Hockey @WMUHockey]

WE ARE ON TOP OF THE COLLEGE HOCKEY WORLD! NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!!

#BroncosReign

[Matthew @mathMATTical]

@kristinchitw0od One might say I have excel-ent skills.

[The Modest Teacher @ModestTeacher]

If you don’t already do so, I challenge you to do this tomorrow (if you’re physically capable)…

Stand up and teach.

The whole lesson.

Don’t sit down until the class leaves.

Engage with your students the entire class period.

See what kind of difference that makes.

[Matthew @mathMATTical]

@xxsaeclorantxx Ok. Be careful! Love ya!

[Matthew @mathMATTical]

@DrMattParker @DrKChilds My district does 9 weeks on, 2 week fall break, 9 weeks on, 3 week winter break, 9 weeks on, 2 week spring break, 9 weeks on, 6-7 week summer break. Begin in mid July, end before Memorial Day.

[Matthew @mathMATTical]

@xxsaeclorantxx Sorry, I've unblocked you now.

[Matthew @mathMATTical]

@itz_kolby 👀

[Matthew @mathMATTical]

@hnambiar200 @MoniseLSeward On my block growing up there was a set of twins who obviously had the same birthday, but in addition there was a girl who shared a birthday with me. So 2 sets, and we were all in school K-12 together.

[Years Progress @YearsProgress]

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 0%

[Howie Hua @howie_hua]

You've heard of elf on the shelf but have you heard of

[Howie Hua @howie_hua]

You've heard of elf on the shelf but have you heard of

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

When I was little, my parents always fed me alphabet soup, claiming that I liked it, but they were just...

Putting words in my mouth.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

Losing my hair made me sad, so I bought a cheap wig…

It was a small price toupee.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines..

She's a singer songwriter, or sew it seams

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

There was once a king who was only 12 inches tall…

Terrible king, but a great ruler.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

What did 50 Cent do when he got hungry?

58.

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what’s your blood type?”

“I’m probably a type O”, said the rabbit.

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

Did you know an American insect invented a data transfer cable? It was a USB.