Matt Ferris

[sami @samisdaal]

just hit me that jack grealish looks like keira knightley in bend it like beckham

[Matt Ferris @Matt_Ferris94]

Pumpkin picking 🎃❤️ @ Tulleys Farm PYO https://t.co/zTrLbb3r2L

[george @StokeyyG2]

ooo look at me my name is haaland and i love to score goals, grow up.

[P 🍀 @paulyc86]

Due to her death, you will no longer receive a letter from the Queen for your 100th birthday. Instead, you will now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14

[Goth Chris @Goth__Chris]

‘I dont know whats happening over at buckingham castle, but its not nice’

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

As landlords warn they may need to charge £20 a pint to cover energy bills, drinkers in London question the logic of lowering prices.

[Kieran_91 @_Kieran__91]

Dillian Whyte tried to tell us

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Bank of England reminds public to spend any paper £50 notes before 30 September, as it will no longer be enough to buy anything.

[Matt Ferris @Matt_Ferris94]

Wayne’s moving up with his age preference 🍆😂 @ O Beach Ibiza https://t.co/E62s2ayhNM

[henry joce @henry_joce]

So tomorrow is Monday again ? I can’t keep living like this.

[Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 🇺🇦 @craiguito]

If Elon Musk really wanted to show off his wealth he could’ve just bought an open return train ticket from Manchester to London.

[KFC UK @KFC_UKI]

To put things into context, Elon Musk could have bought 17,424,242,424 Twister Wraps at £1.98 each or two large pizzas from Dominos

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Dybala will leave Juventus at the end of the season, with Manchester United said to be very interested in ruining the final few years of his career.

[Ben Clark @BenPappyClark]

Every week I go to the massive fire I lit to throw a cup of water on it.

[Avi Yemini @OzraeliAvi]

It takes big balls to compete and win in women’s sports these days.

[Jammers @Jammers4000]

We weren’t even prepared for wind a few weeks ago bro

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

My money was losing 7% every year due to inflation so I decided to invest it in the stock market. Now I’m losing 7% every day.

[Matt Green @mattgreencomedy]

There's something pretty galling about being told we need to rely on people's sense of personal responsibility by someone who has none.

[Sporting Index @sportingindex]

Cesar Azpilicueta has NEVER made a mistake that has led to a goal in the Premier League...

He has been at Chelsea for NINE years.

Ridiculous 🤯