ECPL Matt

I go, I come back, I spit on your potatoes.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Been slagging off my elderly neighbour for allowing his garden to get overgrown and full of weeds. Turns out he has been dead and buried six months.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Tired of travelling through airports with my wife. She insists on packing bargain shop flapjacks as 'plane snacks'. We get stopped on security scan every time. Last time the security person told me why - the flapjacks look like small sticks of Semtex on the luggage X-ray.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

The boy next door often kicks his ball into our garden. My wife tells me not to give it back unless he knocks, she says it's character building for him to ask. I throw it back as soon as she's gone out - I hated asking for my ball back at that age too.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

The other half is pissed off at me, giving me the silent treatment & not cooking, so when it's not my turn, we pick about and eat cheese and crackers or leftovers. She thinks she's annoying me but so far I've lost about two inches off my waistline and my old clothes fit.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

While my wife was out I accidentally yanked a very heavy set of blinds off of the window they were attached to at a lady's mansion my wife used to housesit, smashing numerous items. I made a huge song and dance about it being a ghost. She believed me. It was me all along.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

“They were careless people, they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”

- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

[Tokyo Sexwhale @tokyosexwhale]

To celebrate Star Wars day there's now 15% OFF in my online store. Please, use MAY4 at checkout.

https://t.co/AT6JWR2ojo

All print orders will go out today if ordered before 4pm.

Thank you!

[🌸LesFleurs🌸 @LesFleursBloom]

The greatest scene, not just in Predator history, but in cinema as a whole

[The Command Zone @commandcast]

The new star-studded episode of #GameKnights is almost here!

Special guests @AliasVEDH and @TolarianCollege have been brewing up a STORM using the new Commanders from #MTGTarkir so you definitely don't wanna miss it!

Watch it Wednesday, April 9th!

[Chad Magic 🔜 MC Amsterdam @TheChadMagic]

Thank you so much to @Wizards_MagicEU for sponsoring us to make this HILARIOUS video!

[Tokyo Sexwhale @tokyosexwhale]

First signed print of 2025 is now live!

https://t.co/AT6JWR2W8W

There’s also 15% OFF everything in store if you use PAYDAY15 at checkout.

Thank you!

[The Command Zone @commandcast]

Building your own Commander deck from scratch can be intimidating!

This episode, we’re aiming to help make that task much easier with our newly upgraded and improved Deckbuilding Template.

Don’t miss it:
https://t.co/N1b8kmkXNG

[𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝 ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕝 @TheWillHallExp]

I'm partnering with @AxionNow 🎉

So if you beat me on stream at #TheGathering in London, you will win a Collectors pack of #Aetherdrift🎁

I will GIVEAWAY any left to someone here who:
Follows @AxionNow
👍 Likes
🔄Retweets
✅️Tags 2 friends

⬇️⬇️⬇️
https://t.co/w2dy5m6Dcq

[PleasantKenobi @PleasantKenobi]

Why does the original Akira one look like it's better quality, smoother and more detailed than ANYTHING else shown in this video?

Budget? Time spent? What is it?

[きゃる @choko_puru]

「椅子」というドラムンを覚えた

[MTGPicks @MtgPicks]

🎊Epic MTG GIVEAWAY Alert🎊

Add Tribute to the World Tree to your collection! 🌳

Here’s how to enter:
1️⃣ Like this post ❤️
2️⃣ Retweet this post 🔁
3️⃣ Follow us (or already follow) @MtgPicks🧙‍♂️

Entries close Dec 25th 5:30 EST!

Upgrade your deck on us! #TCG

[MTGPicks @MtgPicks]

🎊Epic #MTG #GIVEAWAY Alert🎊

Add Ob Nixilis, Captive Kingpin to your collection! 🏆

Here’s how to enter:
1️⃣ Like this post ❤️
2️⃣ Retweet this post 🔁
3️⃣ Follow us (or already follow) @MtgPicks🧙‍♂️

Entries close Dec 17th 5:30 EST!

Upgrade your deck on us! #TCG

[Derren Brown @DerrenBrown]

A shout-out at this festive time to anyone else who sings along to The Snowman on the radio with the revisited lyric: ‘I’m wanking in your hair’.

[MTGPicks @MtgPicks]

🎊Epic #MTG #GIVEAWAY Alert🎊

Add Three Steps Ahead to your collection! 🥶💧

Here’s how to enter:
1️⃣ Like this post ❤️
2️⃣ Retweet this post 🔁
3️⃣ Follow us (or already follow) @MtgPicks🧙‍♂️

Entries close Nov 25th 5:30 EST!

Upgrade your deck on us! #TCG #Couterspell

[Tokyo Sexwhale @tokyosexwhale]

My friend hand draws ‘Good Boys’ A3 size in pencil.

If you need a pupper commission as a Christmas present for someone, please DM me.