Captain Cankles

Dm me the word Tomato

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

Omg, Mully is finally getting married😂

[MULLY 🚀 @mully]

It’s my big day 🥳

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@CashApp $murphy2097

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@alainabrooke6

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

Always worth a try

[Cash App @CashApp]

We're giving away $5,000 because we heard people are spending money today. Follow @cashapp and QRT with your $cashtag to get some. #CashAppMonday

[Dalton Patin @DaltonPatin]

I’ll never trust anyone named chris cuz if chris crossed apple sauce what you think he gon do to me

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@GlaznerRylan Twitter and the random as tweets😂

[Michael Chaddrick @MichaelChaddri1]

If life is a simulation, then Area 51 is just a dungeon raid we're all too low of a level for.

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@DaltonPatin You right

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@Lealollyy

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@poppyIeaf

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@BigDaddySam19 Looking pretty cute, almost as good looking as Caleb's mom

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@lamelog1 @pinknsfwlily That is so fucking pathetic, go get laid dude.

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@RedFalcon2948 @starIiyt Neebs Gaming, smaller channel with only 2 million subs but definitely my favorite on the platform

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@xochaneI

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@xsmolkittyx

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

I ain't seen a "feed the children" commercial in a while, they must the doing alright

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@MichaelChaddri1 A foolish man will complain about a hole in his pants, a wise man will use it to scratch his balls.

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

Remember kids, if you don't want to be convinced of war crimes then just win the war.

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@MichaelChaddri1 Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?

[Captain Cankles @MatthiasMurphy]

@MichaelChaddri1 Oh my god, OH MY GOD I'M FUCKING FLASHED

[Michael Chaddrick @MichaelChaddri1]

@MatthiasMurphy Why do meteors always land in craters