Matt

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

@purefulsoul That floor is incredible

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

@Netflix should have a comment section

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

@Netflix should have a comment section

[Twisted Tea @TwistedTea]

Parents: we just wish you'd fully commit to something. You have so much potential.
Me:

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

Yesterday I met a girl and her name was legally Fish! Spelled with a ph I think but still!! FISH!! #gd #phish

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

Me: *complains about how hot it is outside* Also me: Goes home to take a hot shower

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

My insta feed this week has been pure wrinkles and grey hair #bloodyhell

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

@SpottedLaurier Is there going to be an on campus vaping party on June 30th? I'm asking for a friend.

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

I just ate a fucked amount of food #fuckinhell

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

My hair is getting kinda long, so when I see my grandpa, he asks me how long it's been since I started peeing sitting down #chirps #papa

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

Who's down to start making red solo paper cups w me? #fuckplastic #plasticpollution #green #college

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

Imagine having preloaded ammo in your body and you compete with other humans to see who has the best aim... that is the life of a bird. #birds #flylikeaneagle

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

They say you use your putter the most of any club. I say, not when you take 12 mulligans off the tee and 1 putt for days. #DriverBaby #golf

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

The change I got from the empties barely got my car back to toronto. Running on fucking fumes out here boys.

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

There is a strong positive association B/W years of education and amount of annual income. 5th year here I come baby #opulence #stats #yababy

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

I won't judge you, but I'll hit you in the shnauze with my Mallet if I think you deserve it. #justice #timetosucktodaysdick #bitch

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

That last tweet was a little raunchy, but hey.. you think I give a shit?

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

Holy Tiger. You are playing well!! I am as hard as a snail's shell!!!! #thatishard

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

My bank account rn is like my golf game. I'm going for the green, but somehow I always end up in the hole.

[Matt @Matty_Sauce]

"work hard now, so you don't have to work hard when you're older." -Frank Kennedy