Max

My boss told me if I don’t have a Twitter then I don’t have a “Brand.” Now I steal her paper clips and self consciously tweet during work.

[Max @Max00683957]

Chipotle vs Burrito is to California Dominoes vs Pizza is to New York

[Max @Max00683957]

Cheese and crackers is the signature dish of the rich and lazy

[Max @Max00683957]

I would love to own a scanner one day

[Max @Max00683957]

Columbia bitches loveee to put a graduation photo in their hinge profile

[Max @Max00683957]

Life be like that one hinge profile pic in ur bathroom when u just did ur skincare and the lighting is good

[Max @Max00683957]

Travel goals in a binge bio feel more ambitious than marriage

[Max @Max00683957]

We are having an art noveau rennaisance… and it began with DIY buzzfeed culture.

[Max @Max00683957]

Are they actually making movies on film sets or just taking artsy shots of eachother behind the camera for their hinge profiles?

[Max @Max00683957]

You know you’re feeling a little down when you make a PB&J that’s 90% jam

[Max @Max00683957]

Why does TV love to act like 15 year olds get hangovers

[Max @Max00683957]

The epitome of being dumb and hot is saying “hahaha you’re funny”

[Max @Max00683957]

Career aspirations: CPA certified Acuntant @ Deloitte.

[Max @Max00683957]

Andy Cohen is gay Hugh Hefner but with milfs

[Max @Max00683957]

@getbekt Yes. So much.

[Max @Max00683957]

God really fucking cursed me with liking artsy Brooklyn boys huh

[Max @Max00683957]

Are workaholics just rich nerds!

[Max @Max00683957]

Somebody needs to compare 2022 voter turnout with 2010 American Idol

[Max @Max00683957]

Update the devil has entered the chat

[Max @Max00683957]

I’ve never known fear like 8pm, a deadline, one month of training, and a screen full of “away” buttons