The Dandy Warhol

If you have nothing nice to say then tweet it.
Stop taking social media so serious. Nothing here is real. Look at this chicken 🐓....🚗 it's bigger than the car

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

I once went to a Rave in Tenerife and 24hrs later, the entire of the UK is searching for me.
#Jayslater #Tenerife

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

BREAKING NEWS: Karen Matthews helps in the seach for Jay Slater.
#Jayslater #Tenerife

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

Have they tried searching for his foot prints yet?
They did this once on an episode of Scooby Doo and it seemed to work efficiently on that.
#Jayslater #Tenerife

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

This is ending up like a Craig David song

Went missing on Monday
Wasn’t found on Tuesday
30k gofundme on Wednesday
Mum done a runner on Thursday
Lucy arrested on Friday
Jay found on Saturday
All chilled on Sunday
#Jayslater #Tenerife

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

My wife crashed her car yesterday. She told the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking beer from a can at the time. The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own back garden.
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

I can't be the only one that enjoys a toilet sundae.
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

Police release mugshot of Justin Timberlake following his arrest for DUI this week
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

Places where Jeremy Vine has almost had an accident on his bike.
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

I hate it when I'm texting and I'm rudely interrupted by a cyclist bouncing off my windscreen
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

@mermhart

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

In Birmingham, a life-size model of King Charles goes on display, made entirely of cake – whisky-infused and crumbly, the nutty fruit-cake has yet to see his edible model
#Jerry

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

As King Charles prepares for prostate surgery, one Doctor asks if he has any family history of difficult-to-remove pains in the arse
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

BREAKING NEWS: After news of Rishi's struggle when younger Band aid reform.
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

Keir Starmer gives his strongest hint yet that he might have an opinion on something as he stands in front of a fence rather than sitting on it to launch his election campaign
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

Please sir, I want some more channels
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

Dont worry about going grey.
Andrew has no problem pulling younger women.
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

A survey from an infant school said that grey haired men found the children more attractive.
#JeremyVine

[The Dandy Warhol @MaxFarnham64]

A report says eating like the English could save 4000 UK lives, while eating like the Scottish could save the UK deep fat fryer industry.
#JeremyVine