Mad, Mad Max

A warped, frustrated YOUNG man
✝️🇺🇸🦌🎸

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

The date is January 20, 2029.

Golden sunlight streams through the window and is cast over the strong, large hand of President Trump as he completes his signature on his last executive order, which allocates a small portion of funds from the U.S. government's crypto reserves to pay off the last of the national debt.

The silence is broken by great cracks of applause, interrupted by a somehow louder and enthusiastic knock on the door.

"Ah, President-Elect Vance, yes, come in! Could you give us a moment, everyone?"

J.D. Vance crosses the Oval Office, weaving through the crowd as they funnel out the way he came.

"Are you ready for your big day, J.D.?"
"This place will feel so empty without you. Would you consider being my press secretary?"

The two gentlemen share a laugh.

"You'll do fine."
"I will. After all, peace in the Middle East? Cold fusion? It's not like you left me much to do. I just wish that Sleepy Joe could be here to see this."
"Yes, his endorsement certainly was a healing moment for our nation..."

Trump smiles sentimentally as he snatches his overcoat from the chair behind the Resolute Desk.

"...but he's finally resting now. I mean, truly resting. On a beach in Acapulco, last I heard."

"And Elon, I wish he were back from the Saturn visit. But he says all the people we deported on the last SpaceX launch are doing great in their colony."

"Oh, Elon. Big Rocket Man."

"Are you sure you can't stay? For the inauguration, I mean. They say it's the second-biggest crowd in history, right after your 2025 crowd and slightly more than your 2017 one."

"I'm sorry, J.D. - they need me at the clinic."

"Of course. I just can't believe you're making your third career shift so late in the game. But if you can do in whale psychiatry what you did in politics, it will be a real game-changer."

Trump slowly puts on his coat, giving the collar a tug at the breast and exhales sharply before motioning to a sealed envelope on the desk.

"Everything you need is right there."

Trump puts on his hat and strolls to the doorway.

"President Trump?"

He stops in the threshold. "Yes, J.D.?"

"Thank you for making America great again."

"It was my pleasure."

He turns and scans the room sentimentally one more time. It's true - the country remains in good hands.

As he exits the room, he accidentally brushes shoulders with an incoming visitor, face obscured by a visor with a distinctive golden "M" embroidered on the front.

"Oh, excuse me, ma'am," he says as he passes by.

The figure enters the Oval Office and says with a cracking and warbly voice,

"President-Elect Vance, your UberEats order is here."

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@GPrime85 @MattWalshBlog That's a bit too far. Especially the anime.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@SplatoonGrandma @Atomsmade Ha, I was looking for this reply.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@JackPosobiec Obviously, most women do not do these things but I have known a few:
- fishing for compliments
- laziness
- moping
- excessively angry or vulgar speech
- nose rings
- expecting one-sided adoration

[Chief Nerd @TheChiefNerd]

STUCKEY: “Why should people have hope?”

VANCE: “Because Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He came down from heaven and is ultimately the author of history … If you actually believe that God himself became man and died to give grace to human beings, you just have to have hope.”

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@RockFeedNet A female former keyboardist for Cradle of Filth disagrees with a man's opinion on male mental health? Goodness!

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@paleochristcon Crucible Toons idea: 'Brian Atlas and the Crashout Factory', where every 'whatever' ragequit is retold through the narrative lens of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. @Rach4Patriarchy can be the golden ticket winner.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@Slatzism The reconstructed reconstruction is actually peak tho

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@aaaronson "Meg White" - Ray LaMontagne.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@aaaronson "Tom Verlaine" - Alvvays, which is a tribute to "Always" - Tom Verlaine.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@jakonian No, the whole thing is a steaming pile of crap and will be remembered that way.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@PalmyrPar He's right that IX has immense meme fodder value (which ultimately makes it the best sequel trilogy movie because that's all they're good for)

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@thisdopenose Sorry, the Strokes stuff is great too but you've also accurately appraised the others.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@Janooy4 That's true, but they usually want to at least see their children.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@RealDianeYap @MattWalshBlog Alexa show me the worst take on X

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@leeshelton4 @ianmiles @McJuggerNuggets In Iceland!

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@commonrevolt LOL Imagine being this guy and trying to dunk on Charlie KirK 😭

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@deadgrandmablog @kennybeats Lol no you're good!

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@deadgrandmablog @kennybeats There are already two singles out from it, and they're great. Production is amazing.

[Mad, Mad Max @MaximusCorrecti]

@DrClownPhD Steve Carell is hilarious. Other than that, this is a good lineup of the least funny human beings in pop culture.