Max Johnson

Name says it all.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

Porn is bad. There I said it.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

My girlfriend cannot open a jar of tomato sauce. This is my time to shine.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

Can anyone explain what is going on here? That’s the moon in the middle, what are those lines? They look like mountains or something but we don’t have mountains like that where I live.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

People who watch anything other than POV, why would you watch anything other than POV?

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

Word of the day: Plateaued… What an ugly mess of vowels.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

Do trees get tumors? Looks like they do to me.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

In America, they say ‘It’s a free country.” but then they also say “Freedom isn’t free.”. So which one is it? Seems contradictory to me.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

I am fully convinced I will never be able to correctly spell the word neighborhood without first looking it up. Like not even the auto correct can figure out what the hell I am trying to spell out, that’s how bad it is.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

They say “Just be yourself.” and “Don’t be racist.” But what if I myself am racist?

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

If I ever became a boob doctor, I would change my last name to Squeezie. People would then have to refer to me as Dr.Squeezie.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

“The experts say this, the experts say that.” Heyexperts! Shut the fuck up!

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

@gunsnrosesgirl3 So you can watch porn in public.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

Anyone else’s eyelashes so long they get tangled together in the corner of their eyes, shit fucking sucks!

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

Least intellectually dishonest democrat.

[Max Johnson @MaxJJohnson]

SPREAD LOVE, NOT HERPES